others

An elderly man and his wife, vacationing at a cabin by the lake, were sitting on the porch and reminiscing about their younger years. “This is the lake where I learned how to swim when I was a small boy,” the husband said. “My father threw me into the water and I had to learn…

An old man saw a very tired infantryman resting after a hard foot march. The man said with disdain: “When I was of your age I thought nothing of a ten-mile hike.” “Well, I don’t think much of it either,” replied the GI.

My uncle (Dan) and his best friend (Erik) have an April Fool month every April. Each plays one major prank on the other during the month – neither know when they will be pranked or what will happen when they are. Here are a couple of the things that they have done to each other:…

Alabama *It is illegal for a driver to be blindfolded while operating a vehicle. *Dominoes may not be played on Sunday. *It is illegal to wear a fake mustache that causes laughter in church. ~~~ California *Sunshine is guaranteed to the masses. *animals are banned from mating publicly within 1,500 feet of a tavern, school,…

Lightning never strikes twice in one place because Chuck Norris is looking for it. Chuck Norris was once a knight in King Arthur’s court. He was known as Sir Beatdown. Chuck Norris once played rugby by himself. He went undefeated. In Desert Storm the reason why the Iraqi army surrendered so quickly because they knew…

The following were actually published, -Include your children when baking cookies! -Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted -Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says -British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands -Lost: small apricot poodle. Reward. Neutered. Like one of the family. A superb and inexpensive restaurant. Fine food expertly served by…

What’s better than roses on your piano?? Tulips on your organ! (two-lips)

I’m not against Avril Lavigne or anything, I like her, but I heard this, and it was pretty funny. This is the changed lyric to the chorus of Complicated: “Why’d you have to go and make me so constipated? You see the way I’m scrunching up my pitiful face when I’m on the toilet, And…

Q. What did the pedophile say when he got out of jail? A. I feel like a kid again!

What key opens no lock? A Turkey!

How do you know Adam wasnt black? Have you ever tried to take a rib away from a black man? How do you know when Mexicans are illegal? When you scream “La Migra”, and everyjoke is gone in less than a minute. How do you know when a white guy’s family is really white? When…

What do you call an alien with no ears? Anything you like, he can’t hear you.