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“Hillary Clinton has finished her memoirs for publication next year, while Bill has barely finished the first chapter. Well, in all fairness, Fiction is a lot harder to write.” – Jay Leno

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The old man had died. A wonderful funeral was in progress and the town’s preacher talked at length of the good traits of the deceased, what an honest man he was, and what a loving husband and kind father he was. Finally, the widow leaned over and whispered to one of her children, “Go up…

TRUE STORY When I was 16, I went camping with my family. My girlfriend, who was also 16, went along with her family as well. We went to the same campground together because her parents knew mine and we’re friends. I thought that this was perfect because now I could be with my girlfriend all…

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Justin and Tarquin were having a wonderful time at the fairground, trying all the attractions, until they arrived at the carousel. Tarquin said, “Let’s go on this one, Justin.” “I’m tired right now,” said Justin, “you go ahead and I’ll see you later.” So Tarquin goes on the carousel, but after a few minutes, the…

An actual headline: Deer Kill 17,000

A bunch of girls had become upset at an anthropology professor who had a knack of offending women. They decided the next time he did something offensive they would all stand up and walk out of his class. Sure enough, at the very next class meeting while discussing a tribe of African natives, the professor…

A father and his son, Bobby, arrive at the game – and Dad can’t find the tickets. Dad: “Nip home and see if I left the tickets there.” Bobby: “No probs, Dad.” Half an hour later Bobby returns to his dad who is patiently waiting outside the stadium. Bobby: “Yep, they’re on the kitchen table…

There were three men stranded on an island with nothing to eat, but a bowl of mac n cheese. The first guy says, “I have an idea, lets all swim to the other side and the first one there gets the bowl of mac n cheese”. They all tie so the second guy says, “I…

In the city of Gilacopa during the year of 1832 there was a great poet. He wrote some of the most beautiful poems the world had ever known. One day his assistant was in his office and he noticed a sheet of paper on his desk and he figured it must of been the poets…

A guy driving a Yugo pulled up to a stoplight next to a Rolls-Royce. He rolled down his window and shouted to the driver of the Rolls. “Hey, buddy, that’s a nice car. You got a phone in your Rolls? I’ve got a phone in my Yugo!” The driver of the Rolls looked over and…