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There were three guys on the C.N. tower and the tour guide told them that if either one of them could throw their watches over the side and run down and catch it, they would win 1 million dollars. The first guy threw his watch over and when he got down, it was shattered into…

FROM A FARM KID AT SAN DIEGO MARINE CORPS RECRUIT DEPOT. Dear Ma and Pa: I am well. Hope you are. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Marine Corps beats working for old man Minch by a mile. Tell them to join up quick before maybe all of the places are filled. I was…

Harry, Bill and Steve are sitting at the corner bar enjoying themselves, when Ted walks in looking distressed. “Ted, you look awful. What’s wrong?” Harry asks. Ted says, “Last night I got really drunk, and then somewhere between here and my house, I was abducted by an alien?” Everyone is shocked. “I heard about this…

Ivan Vakinov Kotcha Vakinov Isenya Vakinov

Three desperately ill men met with their doctor one day to discuss their options. One was an alcoholic, one was a chain smoker and the other was a homosexual. The doctor, addressing all three of them, said, “If any of you indulge in your vices one more time, you will surely die.” The men left…

illy Ray Cyrus: Hey Miley, When did you record that song ? Miley Cyrus : That’s Justin Bieber song . Justin Bieber is borrowing cloths from Lady Gaga for her next video . Q: Why Justin Biebers use elevator most of the time ? A: To reach puberty as soon as possible. Your momma is…

After many unhappy replies from our current vending service we decided that what they really needed was a different form letter that was more closely tied to their true feeling: BFD Vending Service Thank you for your inquiry/comments/complaints about our vending serve -We are aware that your machine as not been stocked in 50 days.…

Mr. Dodgers and the children in the neighbourhood are raking leaves at Mr. Dodger’s house. They have three piles of leaves in the back yard, and seven piles of leaves in the front yard. When Mr. Dodgers and the children put all the piles together, how many piles of leaves will they have? JUST ONE…

A sucessful business man became disenchanted with the stress of the fast life in the big city and decides to chuck it all. He takes his savings and purchases a large ranch in the middle of nowhere in Montana. After a couple of months of enjoying the solitude, he hears the drumming of hoofbeats outside…

What is the world’s sharpest thing? A fart! It goes through your pants without leaving a hole!

*This is from a comic called Pearls Before Swine, I just wanted to share it with you guys(crowd goes *awwww*)* Dentist(on phone p-D): Hi, this is Dr. Smith’s office calling to remind you about your dental appointment tomorrow. Other Person(P): Can’t make it. D: Why? P: Profanity. It offends me. D: I didn’t use profanity.…

A mystery-lover takes his place in the theater for opening night, but his seat is way back in the theater, far from the stage. The man calls an usher over and whispers, “I just love a good mystery, and I have been anxiously anticipating the opening of this play. However, in order to carefully follow…