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Why is revenge sweet, but payback is a b*tch?

What’s the difference between a sock and a camera? One takes five toes and one takes photos.

This is funny.

1) Your life’s ambition involved 2 things. “get high” and “earn just enough money to get high” 2) You’re nervous around the police even if you have nothing on you because “you just know they know,” -or- You WANT them to search you because you don’t have anything just so you can laugh at them.…

Rate this joke 4 smiles and g I’ll give you $5 Stop here and rate now Read the rest after you vote You don’t need to read the comments now Vote Now NOW NOW!!!! NOWNOWNOWNOWNOWNOWNOWNOWNOWNOW DID YOU VOTE 4? PLEASE PZ puL eASE pull with ease Now vote Alright, you voted Good job Read on…

Every night, after dinner, a man took off for the local tavern. He spent the whole evening there, and arrived home very drunk around midnight each night. He always had trouble getting his key into the keyhole and getting the door opened. His wife, waiting up for him, would go to the door and let…

Go to this website … I know some people might say that this isn’t a joke, but it’s really funny if you go to the website. Trust me. It doesn’t have any viruses. http://home.comcast.net/~wolfand/

There was a couple who were big over-spenders. They always dreamed of spending holidays in Hawaii, but were never able to save any money to do so. One day they came up with an idea – each time they had sex, they would put $20.00 bill into a piggy bank. They bought the piggy, and…

There are two men in a restroom, in stalls directly next to each other. Man #1 says “Hi there.” Man #2, trying not to be rude, says, “Um…Hi” After a short silence, Man #1 speaks again saying, “So, how are things?” Man #2 replies, “Good…. I guess.” Man #1 says, “Okay, honey, I have to…

Why does a man wear two pairs of pants when he goes golfing? He might get a hole in one!

There is no such thing as a lesbian, just a woman who has never met Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris crossed the road. No one has ever dared question his motives. When Chuck Norris was born, he immediately had sex with the first nurse he saw. He was her first. She was his third. That afternoon.…

We all know that a good old fashioned zombie says “Braaaaiiiiins!” But what would these zombies say? A Vegan Zombie – “Graaaaaiiiiins!” A 1940’s Mobster Zombie – “Daaaaaaames!” A Michael Jordan Zombie – “Haaaaaayynes!” A Vampire Zombie – “Veeeeeeeiiiiins!” A Masochistic Zombie – “Paaaaaiiiiiins!” A Maid Zombie – “Staaaaaiiiins!”