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The first typewriter was called the “literary piano.” Frogs can’t swallow with their eyes open. A duck’s quack doesn’t echo. August has the highest percentage of births.

Two Stasi agents are on a surveillance mission and quite bored. First agent: “Hey, what are you thinking about?” Second agent: “Oh, nothing special. The same as you…” First agent: “In that case, you’re under arrest!”

1. George Washington isn’t the first president. He was the first elected president. 2. Men are 6 times more likely to be struck by lightning than women. 3. It is estimated that millions of trees in the world are accidently planted by squirrels who bury nuts and forget where they hid them. 4. Ernest Vincent…

HWAYETRDETIPZLHV OMNLTESOSHSUZEAE 32. Reading one letter from the top row and then one from the bottom row, the puzzle reads: ‘How many letters does this puzzle have’.

man having problems with premature ejaculation, went to the doctor to see what to do about it.doctor said try startling your self if you feel the urge to ejaculate.on the way home he buys a starter pistol. the guy excited to try the new idea, went home and was suprised to find his wife in…

A Wocka user has average joke comedy 2.5, but he doesn’t get the smiley. Why can it happen? Because his average joke comedy is between 2.495 and 2.5, which is rounded up to 2.5.

As a painless way to save money, a young couple arranged that every time they have sex the husband puts his pocket change into a china piggy bank on the bedside table. One night while being unusually athletic, he accidentally knocked the piggy bank onto the floor where it smashes. To his surprise, among the…

Q: What did the seismologist say when he messed up? A: It’s not my fault.

barbie Dolls Inc. announces the release of models of Limited Edition barbie Dolls for the California market. Rancho Santa Fe barbie: This princess barbie is only sold at Saks Fifth Avenue. She comes with an assortment of Kate Spade handbags, a Lexus, a lapdog and a mansion. Options include tummy tuck, face lift and a…

How do you keep a Michigan State Player out of your yard? Set up a goal post.

A College football team was on a winning streak, until they found out that their star QB was failing English. The QB couldn’t play until he brought his grade up to a C. The other players on the team were desperate for him to play in the championship, so they asked his English professor for…

There’s a fella in a fast-food outlet, and he’s just received his order of 7 hot-dogs, 9 Big Macs and 6 large Cokes. The counterhand says, “Would you like a tray?” The customer replies, “Steady on, haven’t I got enough to carry already?”