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It is illegal to stick coins in your ears in the state of Hawaii.

Ole and Lena went to the Olympics. While sitting on a bench a lady turned to Ole and said, “Are you a pole vaulter?” Ole said, “No, I’m Norvegian…and my name isn’t Valter.”

When Jacob was finally given an exit visa by the Russians and allowed to immigrate to Israel, he was told he could only take what he could put into one suitcase. At Moscow airport, he was stopped by customs and an official shouted, “Open your case at once.” Jacob did what he was told. The…

Here are the Top 15 excuses for if you are pulled over by a police officer for speeding, running a red light, etc. 15.) Sorry, I slipped on a banana peel… 14.) Oooohh, you’re a policeman? I thought you were just another speeder! I was trying to get away so you wouldn’t hit me! 13.)…

This was a story told to us by our chemistry master at school. A female student wished to make some potassium hydroxide solution (aqueous) and decided to throw a large lump of potassium into a bucket of water. Her professor observed what she was about to do, out of the corner of his eye and…

These are phrases found on funny T-shirts: *(camoflauge) Ha! Now you can’t see me! * He did it –> *The leprechauns are after my stash. *I do what the voices tell me to do… *Not the brightest crayon in the box, are we? *See no homework, Speak no homework, Hear no homework, DO NO HOMEWORK.…

Little Johnny goes up to his mother and asks, “Is God male or female?” After thinking for a moment, his mother responds, “Well, honey, God is both male and female.” This confuses Little Johnny, so he asks, “Is God black or white?” “Well, God is both black and white.” This further confuses him so he…

Fred had just came back from a hiking trip, when his friend, George, asked how it was. “It was great!” said Fred, except on my way home I accidentally awoke a lion….it started chasing me….at one time he was so close, that I could feel his breath on my neck, but then he slipped!! He…

This is an actual letter that was sent to a bank by an 86-year old woman. The bank manager thought it amusing enough to have it published in the New York Times. Dear Sir: I am writing to thank you for bouncing my check with which I endeavored to pay my plumber last month. By…

Hammer – In ancient times a hammer was used to inflict pain on one’s enemies. Modern hammers are used to inflict pain on oneself. Screwdriver – The drink ordered at the local bar after you call in a professional repairman to undo the $500 in damage you did while trying to change out a light…

A man who had been shipwrecked on a desert island for several years is starting to feel the effects of being starved of sex for so long. However, the only living creatures on the island are a dog and a pig. One day, the man decides he’s had enough and thinks to himself that it…

One of my husband’s duties as a novice drill instructor at Fort Jackson, S.C., was to escort new recruits to the mess hall. After everyone had made it through the chow line, he sat them down and told them, “There are three rules in this mess hall: Shut up! Eat up! Get up!” Checking to…