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An old Indian lined up all of his ten sons and stood in front of them. He then asked, “Who push port-a-potty over cliff?” Nojoke answered him. He then asked again, “Who push port-a-potty over cliff?” And again nojoke answered. The old Indian said, “I tell story of Georgie and Georgie father. Georgie chop down…

One eye says to the other eye, “Between you and me, something smells.”

#1. A mandatory evacuation means just that – get the hell out. Don’t blame the Government after they tell you to go. If they hadn’t said anything, I can see the argument. They said get out; if you didn’t, it’s your fault, not theirs. (We don’t want to hear it, even if you don’t have…

Why, Oh Why, Oh Why . . . Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak? Why do banks charge a fee on “insufficient funds” when they know there is not enough? Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but…

A man goes out and buys the best car available in the US or Europe, a 2001 Turbo BeepBeep. It is the best and most expensive car in the world, and it runs him $500,000. He takes it out for a spin and, while doing so, stops for a red light. An old man on…

Twenty Something – The cost of a sitter for Saturday night. Fancy Restaurant – One that serves cold soup on purpose. College – The four-year period when parents are permitted access to their home telephone. Hors D’oeuvres – A sandwich cut into 20 pieces. Kissing – A means of getting two people so close together…

10. Bring some dry ice & make it look like your computer is smoking. 9. Come to the lab wearing several layers of socks. Remove shoes and place them of top of the monitor. Remove socks layer by layer and drape them around the monitor. Exclaim sudden haiku about the aesthetic beauty of cotton on…

If Six is afraid of Seven because Seven ate (Eight) Nine, why did Six soon die? Because Six, Seven ate (Eight) (678)

Here are some fun things to do in a public library if you get bored there… 1. Read out loud. Very loud. And slowly. 2. While pointing to a very simple word, like ‘the’, ask the person next to you if he/she can pronounce it for you. 3. While looking at your book, turn so…

One day, a little Indian boy came up to an old man in the village (In the Indian heritage, the oldest are most wise). The little boy asks, “How do we Indians get their names? Like… Blackhawk, or Redeyes?” The old man says, “Well, actually, when they are born, the first thing we see is…

The devil is the father of lies, but he neglected to patent the idea, and the business now suffers from competition.

A Platoon Sergeant and his Platoon Leader are bunking down in the field for the night. The Platoon Sergeant looks up and says, “When you see all the stars in the sky, what do you think, sir?” The LT replies, “Well, I think of how insignificant we really are in the universe; how small a…