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One night a man and woman went to his house to have sex when he stopped her to say “I still live with my parents and me and my brother share bunk beds so if you want to change positions say “lettuce” and if you want to go faster say “tomatos” So they were getting…

I was walking around and I saw somejoke selling a shirt that said this: F.B.I. Female joke Inspector

Three people had been sentenced to be put in jail for ten years, and they asked each one of them to say one thing that he wants to have with him in the chamber. The first one said, “I want you to put 1 ton of steak with me,” so they did and they locked…

This is the best joke ever! Give it a full smiley 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

Can you decipher this phrase? HOT HOT HANDLE HANDLE Too hot to handle!

A man was on a bridge as a news reporter walked by. She was told that if she didn’t cover another story in 2 hours, she’d be fired. All of a sudden, the man starts to count “1,2,..” “Wait!” interrupts the reporter. “What is it?” “What are you trying to do?” “I’m going to commit…

Chuck Norris does not own a house. He walks into random houses and people move. It is better to give than to receive. This is especially true of a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick. Chuck Norris is the only person to ever win a staring contest against Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder at the same time.…

It was early morning at the military base, and the first sergeant was calling out names for the daily work parties listed on a piece of paper: “Ames” “Here!” “Jenson” “Here!” “Jones” “Here!” “Magersky” “Here!” “Seeback” No answer. “Seeback!” No answer was heard again. “SEEBACK!!!” The troops remained totally silent. At that point, someone whispered…

My neighbor was bit by a stray rabid dog. I went to see how he was and found him writing frantically on a piece of paper. I told him rabies could be cured and he didn’t have to worry about a will. He said, “Will? What will? I’m making a list of the people I…

# 16 Ernest Vincent Wright wrote a fifty thousand-word novel, “Gadsby,” without any word containing the letter “e.” # 17 In a year, the average person walks four miles to make his or her bed. # 18 In the first century, people used to drink goats milk to sweeten their breath. # 19 In many…

How come only car keys are the only keys with teeth on both sides? Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round? Why is it the TWELVE days of Christmas when there is only one day of Christmas? When something’s funny why is it called a “knee-slapper” when you actually slap your thigh?…

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