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A man named John was walking back to his house, when a stranger walked up to him and said, “I’ll give you tree beans if you give me your house.” But John was drunk, so he thought he said, “If you give me tree beans, I’ll give you my house.” So John said, “Yes.” And…

Here are the reasons I’d Like to thank Wal-Mart, K-Mart, Target, and my local grocer for having 25 checkout lanes and only three open at any given time. – Waiting in long lines keeps my domestic brain from going completely idle — there’s so much to learn! – I can catch up on my magazine…

Nojoke can breathe out of their nose and mouth at the same time. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * You know, 95% of the people who read this try to do it…well, it’s…

Hi, this is Johan advising you that you spend WAY too much time on the phone. GO OUTSIDE… See the world, LIVE a little… Have fun.

MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB Her father shot it dead Now it goes to school with her Between two hunks of bread.

I suggest you sit down and relax before reading this. Your sides will be aching before you finish. Garden Snakes are DANGEROUS! Author Unknown Green garden grass snakes can be dangerous. Yes, grass snakes, not rattlesnakes. A couple in Sweetwater, Texas had a lot of potted plants, and during a recent cold spell, the wife…

A lovely young lady named Kim Went down to the river to swim A man in a punt Stuck an oar in her eye And now she has to wear glasses.

APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement job history, lineage, and current medical report from your doctor. 1. NAME _______________________________ DATE OF BIRTH ________________ 2. HEIGHT ____________________ WEIGHT __________ I.Q _______ G.P.A.______ 3. SOCIAL SECURITY # _____________ DRIVERS LICENSE #…

Steve, Bob, and Jeff were working on a very high scaffolding. Suddenly, Steve falls 50 feet to the ground below and he is killed instantly. After the coroner leaves with Steve’s joke, Bob volunteers to inform Steve’s wife of the terrible news. Some two hours later, Bob returns to the work site with a six-pack…

A man was boasting to his friend, “You know, I am a well known collector of antiques.” His friend replied, “Yes, I know, I have seen your wife.” Tom: I went out fishing with my wife this morning. Sam: You’re lucky, I’m still using worms. “Dad, I was away for a week. Yesterday I sent…

How can you tell that the Stasi has bugged your apartment? There’s a new cabinet in it.

If you rearrange the letters in “Chuck Norris”, they also spell “Crush Rock In”. The words “with his fists” are understood. Never look a gift Chuck Norris in the mouth, because he will bite your damn eyes off. Give a man a fish, and you will feed him for a day. Give a man anything…