puns

Why did Tom throw butter outside the window? Because he wanted to see the butter-fly.

Q: Why are hairdressers always on time? A: Because they know all the short cuts!

A man was waiting for his wife to give birth when the doctor came in and informed the new dad that his son was born without a torso, arms, or legs. The son had only a head! But the dad loved his son anyway, and raised him as well as he could, with love and…

Maurice has a business appointment, and he arrives a little early. The receptionist points to a comfortable easy chair and asks him to be seated for a while. Maurice settles down, picks up a glossy magazine opens it, and tries to read. However, he finds that he cannot concentrate because he is distracted due to…

What do you call a Grizzly with no teeth? A gummy bear

I tried to walk into Target one day… I missed

A doctor one day was accidentally cut rather badly on the leg. He went to an operating theatre and started to stitch his own leg up, using a local anaesthetic. While doing this, a colleague came into the room, and offered to help. The first doctor thanked him, but said he would carry on himself.…

What’ did the bra say to the hat? You go on ahead, I’ll give these two a lift.

What monster was created on April 1? Pranken-stien

“Operator? I’d like the number of the Scottish knitwear company in Woven.” “I can’t find a town called ‘Woven’? Are you sure?” “Yes. That’s what it says on the label – ‘Woven in Scotland’.”

Two vultures board an airplane, each carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at them and says, “I’m sorry, gentlemen, only one carrion allowed per passenger.”

There was once a very smart horse. Anything that was shown him, he mastered easily, until one day, his teachers tried to teach him about rectangular coordinates and he couldn’t understand them. All the horse’s acquaintances and friends tried to figure out what was the matter and couldn’t. Then a new guy looked at the…