puns

Why was Monica Lewinsky in the White House after hours? Clinton was showing her the proper way to take “dic”tation.

There was a big moron and a little moron, sitting on a ledge. The big moron fell off. Why? Because the little moron was a little more on.

Two male flies are buzzing around, cruising for good looking female flies. One spots a real cutie sitting on a pile of horse manure and dives down toward her. “Pardon me,” he says, turning on his best charm, “…but is this stool taken?”

Time may fly, but does it have wings?

Mik and mak are having a pillow fight. Mak whacks mik hard. Mik yells “are you jamaican because ja maican me crazy!”

Q: What type of storage units do underwater computers use? A: Trilo-bytes

At Heathrow Airport today, an individual, later discovered to be a public school teacher, was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a compass, a protractor, and a graphical calculator. Authorities believe he is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement. He is being charged with carrying weapons of math instruction.

A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning. The wife said, “You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don’t have to wait as long to get our coffee.” The husband said, “You are in charge of the cooking around here and…

The king had a powerful army. He reined for 7 years before clearing the clouds!!!

The other day I went to a zoo, but the only animal there was a dog. It was a shihtzu.

First, you get a little hoarse. Then, you get a little buggy.

What do Gorillas Sleep on in fruit orchards? Apricots.