puns

At Heathrow Airport today, an individual, later discovered to be a public school teacher, was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a compass, a protractor, and a graphical calculator. Authorities believe he is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement. He is being charged with carrying weapons of math instruction.

A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning. The wife said, “You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don’t have to wait as long to get our coffee.” The husband said, “You are in charge of the cooking around here and…

The king had a powerful army. He reined for 7 years before clearing the clouds!!!

The other day I went to a zoo, but the only animal there was a dog. It was a shihtzu.

First, you get a little hoarse. Then, you get a little buggy.

What do Gorillas Sleep on in fruit orchards? Apricots.

A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. “But why?” they asked, as they moved off. “Because,” he said, “I can’t stand chess nuts boasting in an open…

Nine cats were on a boat. One jumped off. How many were left? None. They were all copy-cats!

I hear there’s now a sine flu as well. Someone on the news was going off on a tangent about it.

I wanted to learn how to make ice cream, so I started attending sundae school.