redneck

You might be a redneck if… You think that John Deere Green, Ford Blue, and Primer Gray are the three primary colors.

How do you know that the toothbrush was invented by a redneck? If it was invented by anyone else they would have called it a “teethbrush”.

A redneck couple had lived together in the backwoods for over fifty years. To celebrate their fiftieth anniversary, the man took her to a large city and they checked into a plush hotel. The woman said to the bellman, “We refuse to settle for such a small room. No windows, no bed, and no air…

Two redneck airplane mechanics named Jim Bob and Jeb work at the Atlanta airport. Atlanta gets fogged in one night and nothing can take off or land so Jim Bob and Jeb have nothing to do. After work Jim Bob and Jeb usally have a drink on their way home, so Jim Bob says to…

You are a redneck if: You’ve ever carved a gunstock out of a bedpost.

A man had just moved from his big apartment in NYC, to a big farm way out in the country side. Just days after he moved, he realized he was out of chicken feed, so he went down to the nearest store. (a good 2-hour drive away). “Can I get me some chicken feed?” the…

You Are A Redneck If: You light a match in your bathroom and it blows your house off its wheels!

You might be a redneck if… On stag night, you take a real deer. You use a 55 Chevy as a guest house. Your back porch is bigger than your house. There is more oil in your cap than in your car. You think a hot tub is a stolen bathroom fixture. A full-grown ostrich…

Two Alabama State Trooper Patrol cars were in hot pursuit of a Camaro heading east towards Georgia on I-90. When the suspect crossed the Georgia line, the first trooper pulled over immediately. The rookie Trooper pulled over right behind him and asked, “Sarge, why’d you stop?” “You dumb rookie,” replied the Sarge. “He’s in Georgia…

Two good ole boys down in Alabama were sitting around talking one afternoon over a cold beer…After a while the 1st guy says to the 2nd, “If’n I was to sneak over to your trailer Saturday & make love to your wife while you was off huntin’, and she got pregnant and had a baby,…

You might be a redneck if… You think the Gettysburg Address is where Lincoln lived.

You know you’re a Redneck if….. 1. Your child’s night-light is a neon beer sign. 2. The only running water in your house comes through the ceiling. 3. Your toilet paper has page numbers on it. 4. All your kids toys came free with a Happy Meal. 5. When you fill your car with gas,…