redneck

You might be a redneck if your baby stroller consists of a potato sack and a wheelbarrow.

Why is Alabama the smartest state in the U.S.? It has four “A”s and a “B”.

How many dicks can a redneck girl take at a time? It depends on how many brothers she has.

Recently, my redneck neighbors invited me to a party. Here was our conversation: “Hey dude! Where are you man? We’re having a great party over here. Why don’t you come on over and join us?” I replied, “Man, I’m not feeling so good. I think I’m gonna stay right here.” “Well, hey. What’cha got?” they…

I thought Graceland was tacky. No kids in the back of the pick-up, it’s not safe. Do you think my hair is too big? Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace? The tires on that truck are too big. I’ve got it all on a floppy disk. Do you think this baseball cap goes…

You might be a redneck if your father-in-law said that you had no class, so you spit at him.

You might be a redneck if you wear a tube top to a funeral!

You are a redneck if: you use a handful of creek mud as birth control.

If the most common phrase in your house is “Somejoke go jiggle the handle!”… you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if there is a four-wheeler parked in your bedroom.

You might be a redneck if when someone says: “Do you have any duct tape?” And you say: “I don’t have any ducks on tapes but I’ve got some on my wall.”

Why do the Arkansas cheerleaders wear bibs? To keep the tobacco juice off their uniforms.