redneck

You know you’re a redneck if you would rather your son have his own hunting show than become a doctor.

A redneck is walking along the beach in France. There are many beautiful women lying in the sun, and he really wants to meet one. But try as he might, the women don’t seem to be at all interested. Finally, as a last resort, he walks up to a French guy lying on the beach…

40 Things Never Said By Southerners 40. Oh I just couldn’t. Hell, she’s only sixteen. 39. I’ll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex. 38. Duct tape won’t fix that. 37. Lisa Marie was lucky to catch Michael. 36. Come to think of it, I’ll have a Heineken. 35. We don’t keep firearms in this house. 34.…

– Your local ambulance has a trailer hitch. – You watch cartoons long after your kids get bored. – You think the French Riviera is a foreign car. – You think you are an entrepreneur because of the “Dirt for Sale” sign in the front yard. – You’re still scalping tickets after the concert is…

WINDERS 98 MICROSOFT NEWS RELEASE: It has come to our attention that a few copies of the Georgia edition of Windows 98 may have accidentally been shipped outside Georgia. If you have one of the Georgia editions you may need some help understanding the commands. The Georgia edition may be recognized by looking at the…

A Letter From A Redneck Mother To Her Son Dear Son, I’m writing this slow ’cause I know you can’t read fast. We don’t live where we did when you left. Your dad read in the paper that most accidents happen within twenty miles of home, so we moved. Won’t be able to send you…

A couple are getting married in a big fancy church with all of the relatives and friends in attendance. The priest is going through the nomal procedure and when he comes to the part “If anyone objects to the union of these two people in Holy Matrimony let them speak now or for ever hold…

…if you refer to the fifth grade as, “your senior year”.

Ah – The things you see with. Ay-rab – The people who inhabit much of North Africa. Bidness – The art of selling something for more than you paid for it. Bobbycue – A delectable Southern sandwich of chopped pork, coleslaw, and a fiery sauce. Bud – Small feathered creature that flies. Chekatawfarya – Heard…

Question: What is a Kentucky Virgin? Answer: A really ugly seven year old girl who can run faster than her older brother.

On the 12th day of Christmas my true love sent to me 12- Pack of Bud 11 Rasslin’ Tickets 10 tins of Copenhagen 9 Years Probation 8 Holey vests 7 Kissing Cousins 6 Cans of Spam 5 Hunting Hounds 4 Mudgrip tyres 3 Shot Gun Shells 2 more Gaps in Teeth And some parts to…

Only a redneck visits a trailer park to look for home decorating ideas.