religious

After a hardy Indiana rainstorm filled all the potholes in the streets and alleys, a young mother watched her two little boys playing in the puddle through her kitchen window. The older of the two, a five year old lad, grabbed his sibling by the back of his head and shoved his face into the…

A famous professor of surgery died and went to heaven. At the pearly gate he was asked by the gatekeeper: ‘Have you ever committed a sin you truly regret?’ ‘Yes,’ the professor ansvered. ‘When I was a young candidate at the hospital of Saint Lucas, we played soccer against at team from the Community Hospital,…

Fred had tried to be particularly careful about his language as he played golf with his priest. But on the twelfth hole, when he twice failed to hit out of a sand trap, he lost his resolve and let fly with a string of expletives. The preacher felt obliged to respond. “I have observed,” said…

One day a man was walking down the road and saw the priest also walking. Since he knows the priest usually rides a bike he asks where it is. “Well, I woke up this morning and couldn’t find it,” he replies. “Oh. Well, here is an idea. When you go over the Ten Commandments in…

My brother-in-law was a gay minister, so when his sister wanted a small, casual wedding, she asked him to officiate. He had never performed a marriage ceremony before, so he decided to ask his pastor for advice. “My sister has asked me to marry her,” he began, “and I’m not sure what I should do.”…

What do you call a nun that becomes an attorney? Sister in law!

One day, God was talking to St. Peter. God said, “I am not very happy with all the sinners in the world. I should send a letter to each of them and tell them what they are doing wrong and they must stop, or they will not come to Heaven when they die.” “I have…

Jesus walks into an inn puts 3 nails on the counter and asks, “Can you put me up for the night?”

A minister told his friend Rabbi Goldman, “Last night, I dreamed of the Jewish Heaven. It was a slum, and it was overflowing with people — running, playing, talking, sitting — doing all sorts of things. But the dream, and the noise, was so terrific that I woke up.” The rabbi said, “Really? Last night,…

A teacher asked her children just before they were about to leave class for Mass, “And why is it necessary to be quiet during Mass?” One bright little girl replied, “Because people are sleeping.”

A Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took Jesus with them to Jerusalem. A small child replied, “They couldn’t get a baby-sitter.”

On the appointed day, St. Peter escorted John to the Holy Mother’s sanctuary. John went before Her, knelt, and said: “Holy Mother, I’ve always looked to You for guidance, and You have granted me peace and serenity through some difficult times. But I have one question that has nagged me during my whole time on…