sport

About four or five years ago I was standing in a ticket line at LAX, and a fellow in a line parallel to mine had a golf bag slung over his shoulder. Since the line was long and airline ticketing is a slow process at best, we struck up a conversation. He brightened when I…

“He’s great on the court,” a sportwriter spoke of a college basketball player in a interview with his coach. “But how’s his academics?” “Why, he makes straight A’s,” replied the coach. “Wonderful!” said the sportwriter. “Yes,” agreed the coach, “but his B’s are a just little crooked.”

Lisa was playing bowling with her friend Marie. Lisa got a strike, then one more strike. Then, she got another strike. She had just gotten 3 strikes in a row! “I just got 3 strikes in a row!” said Lisa. Marie said, “You’re out, you just got 3 strikes in a row!”

In a class on abnormal psychology, the instructor was about to introduce the subject of manic depression. The instructor asked, “How would you diagnose a patient who walks back and forth, screaming at the top of his lungs one minute, then sits in a chair weeping uncontrollably the next?” A young man in the rear…

Once upon a time, long, long ago there was a season when neither the Browns nor the Steelers made the post season playoffs. It seemed so unusual that the management of both teams got together and decided that there should be some sort of competition between the two teams, because of their great rivalry. So,…

A 14-year old boy was helping his mom wash the dishes after dinner on a beautiful day. He says, “Mom, can I go outside? I want to play football.” His mom says, “OK, but on one condition: you let your little brother play with you and your friends.” The teenager replied with, “But mom, we…

A runner going to participate in the Olympic games had a dream, that he was driving a quadriga. Early in the morning he goes to a fortune-teller for explanation of the dream. The reply is: -You will win, that meant the speed and the strength of the horses. But, to be sure about this, the…

1. CADDY — 2 women talking about a 3rd who isn’t there to defend herself. 2. CHIPPING — Time to get our nails done again. 3. DOUBLE BOGIE — “Casablanca” followed by “African Queen.” 4. FAIRWAY — Splitting the bill when the girls go to lunch. 5. GOOD LIE — Weight on our driver’s license.…

Did you know in 1923, the following men were considered some of the world’s most successful men . . . at least they found the secret of making money. Whereas, in 1987, more than 60 yrs. later, do you know what became of these men? The president of the largest steel company, Charles Schwab, died…

An old country boy pulls up to a bait shop with a stringer full of fish. A man, noticing the stringer, asks him where he caught all the fish. He said he was going fishing again, tomorrow, and if the guy wanted to come with him he’d show him where he caught the fish. The…

I was eating a fruit rollup once, you know, with the paper on the bottom…well the instructions were “Do not eat paper.” Noooo! I thought the paper was part of the snack!!

A couple of young boys were fishing at their special pond off the beaten track. All of a sudden, the Game Warden jumped out of the bushes. Immediately, one of the boys threw his rod down and started running through the woods like a bat out of hell. The Game Warden was hot on his…