tech

Eager to make full use of my new computer’s capabilities, I asked a customer-service representative at my bank whether it offered on-line banking. “Certainly,” she stated matter-of-factly, pointing to a crowd of people near the tellers. “The line starts over there.”

Attempting to enter a case-sensitive password with caps-lock on. Not checking to ensure that the computer is indeed plugged in. Clicking Yes on message boxes without reading them properly and deleting important files. Forgetting to plug an ethernet cable into their laptop’s network card when in the office. Allowing sessions to timeout when using a…

Believe it or not, Windows95 is not a virus, as many (millions) have claimed. You want proof? Look no further! What’s the difference between Windows95 and a virus? Quality Replicates Quickly Virus: Yes Windows95: Yes Uses up valuable system resources, slowing down the system as they do so Virus: Yes Windows95: Yes Occasional hard disk…

Computer is very common nowadays and most of the people only know what are the computer short cut keys and buttons. This little list would help you when you are in times of need so that you won’t go around saying the wrong things: When you need help: Dont’s: Help!!! SOS!!! Do’s: F1 When you…

An analyst, a pure mathematician, and a statistician apply for a job. The interviewer asks each of them the question “What is 1/3 multiplied by 3?” The analyst enters it into his calculator and replies that the answer is 0.9999999. The pure mathematician replies that the answer is obviously 1. Then, the statistician asks the…

A mathematician, an engineer and a chemist are at a conference. They are staying in adjoining rooms. One evening they are downstairs in the bar. The mathematician goes to bed first. The chemist goes next, followed a minute or two later by the engineer. The chemist notices that in the corridor outside their rooms a…

Carol was having trouble with her computer. So she called Glenn, the computer guy, over to her desk. Glenn clicked a couple buttons and solved the problem. As he was walking away, Carol called after him, “So, what was wrong?” And he replied, “It was an ID Ten T Error.” A puzzled expression ran riot…

With the daily time taken working on computers, avoiding things like RSI and any strain related illnesses is crucial to maintaining a healthy working environment. The following excercise has been devised by medical experts in the field of RSI research to ensure that if performed, will place the exerciser in a position of minimal risk.…

It’s pretty bad if you start typing “lol” as if it were a sentence (Lol.) Its worse if you start saying, “laugh out loud” in everday conversations. It’s absolutely horrible if you actually say, “l-o-l.”

Beyond the Hype (Guardian, August 25, 1995) Douglas Adams, author of the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, argues Windows 95 does not cross any frontiers. What on Earth is going on? Have we found intelligent life on other planets? Abolished war and famine? Found Elvis? Have we even devised a new and better way of…

This apparently was a real memo sent at a computer company to its employees in all seriousness. This memo is from an unnamed computer company. It went to all field engineers about a computer peripheral problem. The author of this memo was quite serious. The engineers rolled on the floor. “Mouse Balls” Mouse balls are…

– Nice Set of Floppies! – Hey, how ’bout I take off your cover and insert a bigger CPU. – I’d like to play on your laptop. – Need me to unzip your files? – If you were an ISP, I’d dial you all day long! – I’d like to boot up your PC! –…