1. Say “Darn, officer you must have been going fast to catch up with me.”
2. When he approaches you, look at his gut and say, “Hmmm, I thought officers were supposed to be physically fit.”
3. Sway and ask if his bulletproof vest protects him from
projectile vomiting.
4. Lie on the ground and ask him to draw your outline in chalk.
5. Throw his nightstick and tell the police dog to go fetch it.
6. Ask if you can use his pepper spray to spice up your pizza.
7. Tell him you wanted to be a cop, but I decided to graduate high school.
8. When he asks you to walk the line “Riverdance” instead.
9. Instead of pleading with the 5th amendment, plead with the 13th or 16th.
10. When he asks for your license, say, “Oh, sure, officer, could you hold my beer for a sec?”