The good, the bad and the ugly.
Good: Your hubby and you agree, no more kids;
Bad: You can’t find your birth control pills;
Ugly: Your daughter borrowed them.
Good: Your son studies a lot in his room;
Bad: You find several porn movies hidden there;
Ugly: You’re in them.
Good: Your husband understands fashion;
Bad: He’s a cross-dresser;
Ugly: He looks better than you.
Good: Your son’s finally maturing;
Bad: He’s involved with the woman next door;
Ugly: So are you.
Good: You give the birds and bees talk to your daughter;
Bad: She keeps interrupting;
Ugly: With corrections.
Good: Your wife’s not talking to you;
Bad: She wants a divorce;
Ugly: She’s a lawyer.
Good: The postman’s early;
Bad: He’s wearing fatigues and carrying an AK47;
Ugly: You gave him nothing for Christmas.
Good: Your daughter got a new job;
Bad: As a hooker;
Ugly: Your co-workers are her best clients;
Way ugly: She makes more money than you do.
Good: Your son is dating someone new;
Bad: It’s another man;
Ugly: He’s you’re best friend.
Good: Your wife is pregnant;
Bad: It’s triplets;
Ugly: You had a vasectomy five years ago.