40-ish………………………………49
Adventurer………………………..Slept with all your friends
Athletic…………………………….No tits
Average looking………………….Has a face like a basset hound
Beautiful…………………………..Pathological liar
Contagious Smile………………..Does a lot of Ecstasy
Educated……………………..Banged her Political Science professor
Emotionally Secure……………..Medicated
Feminist…………………………….Fat ball buster
Free spirit………………………….Junkie
Friendship first…………….Trying to live down reputation as a slut
Fun………………………………..Annoying
Gentle……………………………..Comatose
Good Listener……………………Borderline Autistic
New-Age………………………….All joke hair, all the time
Old-fashioned…….Lights out, missionary position only, no BJs
Open-minded……………………..Desperate
Outgoing…………………………..Loud and Embarrassing
Passionate…………………………Sloppy drunk
Poet…………………………………Depressive Schizophrenic
Professional……………………….Certified Bitch
Redhead……………………………Bad dye-job
Reubenesque………………………Grossly Fat
Romantic…………………………..Looks better by candle light
Social…………..Has been passed around like an hors d’oeuvres tray
Voluptuous………………………..Very Fat
Height/weight proportional…….Hugely Fat
Wants Soul mate………………….Stalker
Widow…………………………..Drove first husband to shoot himself
Young at heart. …………………..Old bat
The True Meaning of Women’s Ads
in Jokes