Things not to say to a policeman . . .
– Care for a doughnut?
– Met your quota? Happy now?
– Before you arrest me, maybe Mr. George Washington could change your mind.
– You’re NOT gonna check the trunk, are you?
– I want your badge number and your superior officer’s name, NOW.
– Just had to try out that new siren, didn’t you?
– Want to race to the station, Sparky?
– I bet your wife really likes these handcuffs?
– Hey, you must’ a been doin’ about 125 mph to keep up with me! Good job!
– I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around, that’s how far behind I am.
– Let’s not forget who pays your salary hare!
– Are you Andy ar barney?
– Hey officer, is that your nightstick or are you just happy to see me?
– I was going to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.
– You fascists always pick on us criminals.
– Oh God. It’s about the joke, isn’t it?
– Wow, you look just like the guy in the picture next to my girlfriend’s bed.
– You’re gonna have to speak up. This is my favorite song.
– Thanks, officer! The cop yesterday only gave me a warning, too!
– What seems to be the officer problem?
Things Not to Say to a Policeman
in Jokes