TO GOD FROM THE DOG

Dear God:

Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another?

Dear God:

When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch…or is it going to be the same old story?

Dear God:

Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We dogs love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the ‘Chrysler Eagle’ the ‘Chrysler Beagle’?

Dear God:

If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?

Dear God:

We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID’s, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?

Dear God:

More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.

Dear God:

When we get to the Pearly Gates, do we have to shake hands to get in?

Dear God:

Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?