– When the prosecutors see who your lawyer is, they high-five each other.
– During your initial consultation, he tries to sell you Amway.
– He tells you that his last good case was a “Budweiser.”
– During the trial you catch him playing his Gameboy.
– He asks a hostile witness to “pull my finger.”
– Every couple of minutes he yells, “I call Jack Daniels to the stand!” and proceeds to drink a shot.
– He frequently gives juror No. 4 the finger.
– He places a large “No Refunds” sign on the defense table.