5W1H boo!

Jokes

  • Break the Bread

    in

    A woman is walking down the street with a pack of menstrual pads in her hand, after buying them from the store. A homeless guy comes by and kindly asks for money. The woman says she has no change. So, the guy being a smartass says, “Can I have some of that bread in your…

  • Water in Singapore

    in

    The running water in Singapore can be drunk directly. So when I get thirsty, I go to the toilet and drink. But how to make a bowl of instant noodle? A girl thinks: “Since the running water can be drunk directly, the water from electric bathing machine also can!” So she use the water from…

  • Practice

    in

    A father watched his young son practice baseball in the backyard by throwing the ball up and swinging at it. Time and time again the bat missed contact. The boy noticed his father watching, and said, “Wow, Dad! Aren’t I a great pitcher?”

  • Voices

    in

    A mother was reading a book about animals to her 3 year old daughter. Mother: “What does the cow say?” Child: “Moo!” Mother: “Great! What does the cat say?” Child: “Meow.” Mother: “Oh, you’re so smart! What does the frog say?” And this wide-eyed little 3 year-old looked up at her mother and in her…

  • Floats Like a Butterfly

    in

    What’s the most dangerous insect? The hepatitis bee.

  • Demetri Martin Quotes 3

    in

    “I noticed that there are no B batteries. I think that’s to avoid confusion, cause if there were you wouldn’t know if someone was stuttering. ‘Yes, hello I’d like some b-batteries.’ ‘What kind?’ ‘B-batteries.’ ‘What kind?!?’ ‘B-batteries, DANG IT!!!’ and D-batteries that’s hard for foreigners. ‘Yes, I would like de batteries.’” “A drunk driver is…

  • Yo Momma’s So Tall

    in

    Yo momma’s so tall, she did a cartwheel and hit Jesus.

  • Medieval Pick-Up Lines

    in

    – “Hey, Princess, you wouldn’t happen to know where a lonely knight could scabbard his sword, would you?” – “Been there, slain that.” – “What’s a nice maiden like you doing in a dungeon like this?” – “They don’t call me Lance-A-Lot for nothing, you know.” – “When the Inquisition put me on the rack,…

  • Gratitude For the Little Things…

    in

    One fine day…. you’re just walking by…. You look at this bird…. it shits in your eye…. You don’t swear…. you don’t cry…. You just thank God…. that cows don’t fly….

  • Fixing Broken Computers

    in

    An office technician got a call from a blonde. The blonde told the tech that her computer was not working. She described the problem and the tech concluded that the computer needed to be brought in and serviced. He told her to “Unplug the power cord and bring it up here and I will fix…

  • We and They

    in

    Battle Where a whole lot of white men kill a few Indians. Massacre Where a whole lot of Indians kill a few white men.

  • The Perfect Husband

    in

    There are several men in the locker room of a private club after exercising. Suddenly a cell phone that was on one of the benches rings. A man picks it up and the following conversation ensues: “Hello?” “Honey, It’s me.” “Sugar!” “Are you at the club?” “Yes.” “Great! I am at the mall 2 blocks…