5W1H boo!

Jokes

  • Carlos Mencia

    in

    Carlos Mencia orginally said this but it’s still true… What’s makes life beautiful is the essence of the fact that it can go away – so you don’t wanna live like that. You don’t wanna be the person, do you, that had a fight. An inconsequential, insignificant, stupid, fight with your spouse about who was…

  • Innocent Giving

    in

    Every Sunday, a little old lady placed $1,000 in the collection plate. This went on for weeks until the priest, overcome with curiosity, approached her. “Sister, I couldn’t help but notice that you put $1,000 a week in the collection plate,” he stated. “Why yes,” she replied, “every week my son sends me money, and…

  • Looking Heavenward

    in

    The temporary Sunday School teacher was struggling to open a combination lock on the supply cabinet. She had been told the combination, but couldn’t quite remember it. She went to the pastor’s study and asked for help. The pastor came into the room and began to turn the dial. After the first two numbers he…

  • Chuck Norris Facts: 25

    in

    The 11th commandment is: “Thou shalt not piss off Chuck Norris!” This commandment is rarely enforced, as it is impossible to accomplish. Chuck Norris is his own line at the DMV. Two wrongs don’t make a right. Unless you’re Chuck Norris. Then two wrongs make a roundhouse kick to the face. Who let the dogs…

  • Nosy

    in

    On Saturday afternoon, I was sitting in my lawn chair drinking beer and watching my wife mow the lawn. The neighbor lady from across the street was so outraged at this that she came over and shouted at me, “You should be hung.” I took a drink from my can of Budweiser, wiped the cold…

  • Statistics

    in

    The government has recently issued a statement saying that 18.9 percent of all statistics are false.

  • Why Politicians Make the Best Patients ?

    in

    Five surgeons are discussing who makes the best patients to operate on. The first surgeon says, “I like to see accountants on my operating table, because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered.” The second responds, “Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is color coded.” The third surgeon says, “No,…

  • Anagrams

    in

    Can you complete this sentence using two words which are anagrams of each other? Whilst driving his car at a reckless speed, the driver was distracted by his dog _______. Luckily, he managed to complete the _______ manoeuvre without crashing. Whilst driving his car at a reckless speed, the driver was distracted by his dog…

  • Birthday Walk

    in

    All of his life Stosh had heard stories of an amazing family tradition. It seems that his father, grandfather and great-grandfather had all been able to walk on water on their 21st birthday. On that day, they’d walk across the lake to the boat club for their first legal drink. So when Stosh’s 21st birthday…

  • Jackrabbit

    in

    Q: What to you call it when your pet jackrabbit dies? A: A bad “Hare” day

  • The Mechanic

    in

    From the Northwest Florida Daily News comes this story of a Crestview couple who drove their car to Wal-Mart, only to have their car break down in the parking lot. The man told his wife to carry on with the shopping while he fixed the car in the lot. The wife returned later to see…

  • An Actual Conversation W/ Friends

    in

    “That guy looks like Jesus… and so does his friend.. did Jesus have a twin?” “No, at least.. I dont think he did.. never thought about it” “Oh, well. Twins are awesome… hey, why is Jesus walking into our school? *gasp* what if he rapes us all?! JESUS IS A PEDO!” “Calm down, Jesus isn’t…