5W1H boo!

Jokes

  • Oboe

    in

    An English tramp. (hobo)

  • Opera House

    in

    It was the interval at the Opera when Mrs. Sternberg rose from her seat and called: “Is there a doctor in the house? Is there a doctor in the house?!” A man in a tuxedo pushed his way towards her. “I’m a doctor” he said. “Oh, doctor,” she said, “Have I got just the loveliest…

  • Cars and Blondes DON’T Mix

    in

    A blonde pulls over at the gas station, gets out of her car, opens the hood, and checks the engine oil. After a few seconds of intelligent thinking, she takes the dipstick in her hand and, raising her chest high, walks up to the attendant. “Excuse me sir, but can I buy a longer dipstick?”…

  • Nosey

    in

    The armies of the opposition have neared Washington, Paris and London. The governments of US, France and London did nothing about it. ‘Sorry! We need to bomb (long list of African and Middle East countries) first.’

  • 5 = D of a P

    in

    5 = diagonals of a pentagon.

  • Smart Blondes, Dum Blondes, Santa, & the Tooth Fairy

    in

    A dumb blonde, smart blonde, santa clause, and the tooth fairy are walking on the sidewalk together. One of them steps on a five dollar bill. Who picks it up? Answer no one!! three of them don’t exist and the dumb blonde thought it was a gum wrapper.

  • Magic Baton

    in

    My little sister recently asked me: “Why does the conductor of the band always wave his magic wand, but the players never disappear?”

  • Urinate

    in

    Mrs. Flebs, a teacher, was standing in front of her class. It was the beginning of the new school year. Mrs. Flebs said, “Okay class, we’re going to go around the room and have everyjoke say a sentence. We’ll start with Sarah.” Sarah said, “Cows have spots.” Terrence said, ”Baseball is a sport.” Carla said,…

  • Shorty

    in

    The little cowboy, Shorty, was leaving the bar to get on his horse for the ride back to the ranch, when he noted that someone had painted his horse’s balls blue. Totally pissed, he went back into the bar and shouted, “Who’s the dirty son of a bitch that painted my horse’s balls blue?!” A…

  • My Glasses!

    in

    An elderly couple were on a road trip and stopped at a roadside restaurant for lunch. They finished their lunch and it wasn’t until they were back on the highway that the old woman realized she had left her glasses behind at the restaurant. They had to continue on the highway for quite some distance…

  • Toast Anyone?

    in

    Three kids come down to the kitchen and sit around the breakfast table. The mother asks the oldest boy what he’d like to eat. “I’ll have some fuckin’ French toast,” he says. The mother is outraged at his language, hits him, and sends him upstairs. She asks the middle child what he wants. “Well, I…

  • In the Eye of the Beholder

    in

    The teenager lost a contact lens while playing basketball in his driveway, and after a fruitless search, he told his mother the lens was nowhere to be found. Undaunted, she went outside and in a few minutes returned with the lens in her hand. “How did you manage to find it, Mom?” the teenager asked.…