Jokes
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Big, Fat, and Clumsey
in JokesYo Mama so big, fat, and clumsey, when she tried to get to Wal-Mart, she stumbled over K-Mart and landed right on Target.
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WORDS OF WISDOM
in JokesPeople who live in glass houses should make love in the basement. Never read the fine print. There ain’t no way you’re going to like it. If you let a smile be your umbrella, then most likely your ass will get soaking wet. The only two things we do with greater frequency in middle age…
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Three Blondes…
in JokesThere were three blondes living together. Blonde #1 was coming back from grocery shopping, and she dropped her keys. She walked down the stairs to get them, and she said to herself, “Am I going up the stairs or down the stairs?” So she stood there puzzled, the bags of groceries still in her hands.…
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Welfare Blonde
in JokesWhy did the blonde call the welfare office? She wanted to know how you cook food stamps.
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The Blonde & The Rabbit
in Jokes——————————————————————————– There’s 1 redhead 1 brunette and 1 blonde. Their all at the NASA space center. The redhead says to the flight technician “I want to go to the moon”. The flight technician says she can go tomorrow. The brunette says “I want to go to Mars”. He says she can go next week. The…
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End of the World Headlines
in JokesWhen the end of the world arrives how will the media report it? USA Today: WE’RE DEAD The Wall Street Journal: DOW JONES PLUMMETS AS WORLD ENDS National Enquirer: O.J. AND NICOLE, TOGETHER AGAIN Microsoft Systems Journal: APPLE LOSES MARKET SHARE Victoria’s Secret Catalog: OUR FINAL SALE sport Illustrated: GAME OVER Wired: THE LAST NEW…
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Mother’s Little Helper
in JokesLittle Susie was mother’s little helper and always set the table when company was coming for dinner. The table was set, the visitors had arrived and everyone sat down at the table when Mother noticed that something was missing. “Susie, you didn’t put a knife and fork out for Mr. Grover,” mother said. “I didn’t…
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Tasty Soup
in JokesAfter his recent stay in the hospital, Pa was particularly irritable, especially regarding food. At a nearby restaurant he stopped for a quick meal and the waiter provided a bowl of soup. As the waiter turned away to return to the kitchen Pa stopped him, calling: “Waiter!” “Yes, sir, is there something wrong?” “The soup.…