5W1H boo!

Jokes

  • The Truth About Grandparents

    in

    The reason grandparents and children get along so well is really quite simple: They have a common enemy.

  • Yo Momma So Fat………

    in

    Yo Momma so fat, when she went into a sumo wrestling match, they said, “Sorry, no professionals allowed.”

  • Bride

    in

    The Tearful Bride… A new young blonde bride calls her mother in tears. She sobs, “Robert doesn’t appreciate what I do for him.” “Now, now,” her mother comforted, “I am sure it was all just a misunderstanding.” “No, mother,” you don’t understand. “I bought a frozen turkey roll and he yelled and screamed at me…

  • John Hinckley

    in

    You may know they’ve released John Hinckley from the mental facility for unsupervised visits to his parents’ home on weekends. For those of you who may be too young to remember, John Hinckley shot President Ronald Reagan to impress the actress Jodie Foster. This is such a nice letter from the President: THE WHITE HOUSE…

  • Zoo

    in

    Last time my friend went to the zoo, he got in trouble for feeding the monkeys… …to the lions.

  • Wrong Uniform

    in

    A police officer, though scheduled for all-night duty at the station, was relieved of duty early, and arrived home four hours ahead of schedule, at 2 AM. Not wanting to wake his wife, he undressed in the dark, crept into the bedroom, and started to climb into bed. She sleepily sat up and said, “Mike,…

  • Head and Shoulders

    in

    A blonde and a brunette are in an elevator when a good-looking man enters. They notice that, though he is very handsome, he has very bad dandruff. He gets off at his floor, and when the doors close, the brunette looks at the blond and says, “Someone needs to give him some Head and Shoulders”.…

  • Finkelstein and Jesus

    in

    Jesus was wandering around Jerusalem when He decided that He really needed a new robe. After looking around for a while, He saw a sign for Finkelstein, the Tailor. So, He went in and made the necessary arrangements to have Finkelstein prepare a new robe for Him. A few days later, when the robe was…

  • Two Old Ladies…

    in

    Two old ladies were sitting on a park bench outside the local town hall where a flower show was in progress One leaned over and said, “Life is so boring, we never have any fun anymore. For $5.00, I’d take my clothes off and streak through that stupid flower show!” “You’re on!” said the other…

  • Zero

    in

    Don’t think of yourself as a zero, think of yourself as the number below one.

  • Beelzebub

    in

    Knock, knock, knock! Who’s there, i’ th’ name of Beelzebub? Here’s a farmer that hanged himself on the expectation of plenty. Come in time, have napkins enough about you, here you’ll sweat for ‘t.

  • How to Talk Native Southern VI

    in

    Gull – A young female. Hale – Where General Sherman went for what he did to Etlanna. Moanin – Between daybreak and noon. Motuhsickle – A two-wheeled missile with a powerful engine. Nekkid – To be unclothed. Ovair – In that direction. Own – Instead of awf. Phrasin – Very cold. Sebmup – Soft drink…