5W1H boo!

Jokes

  • Sleeping in a Church

    in

    Wilma and her husband barney go to church every Sunday, and during the service barney falls asleep. One afternoon Wilma goes to the priest and asks what she can do. The priest hands her a needle and tells her to prick him with it every time he falls asleep. The next week at church barney…

  • Sad News

    in

    The other day, I heard that a good friend of mine was outside during a thunderstorm and got struck by lightning. I was a bit shocked, but not as much as he was.

  • How Does a Redneck Take a Bubble Bath?

    in

    Q: How does a redneck take a bubble bath? A: He farts in a puddle

  • Are You Sure

    in

    – I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges? – You can’t have everything, where would you put it? – Isn’t having a smoking section in a restaurant like having a peeing section in a swimming pool? – What hair color do they put on the driver’s licenses of baldmen? – In…

  • Why You Shouldn’t Drink And Why You Should Feed Your Dogs

    in

    A man named John was walking back to his house, when a stranger walked up to him and said, “I’ll give you tree beans if you give me your house.” But John was drunk, so he thought he said, “If you give me tree beans, I’ll give you my house.” So John said, “Yes.” And…

  • Oh No!

    in

    A man walks into a doctor’s office. He says, “Doctor, doctor, you’ve got to help me! My elbow keeps coming untied. . . my belly button is out of order. . . I can’t open my chest. . . I’m losing the leaves in my palm. . . somejoke threw my waist in the trash.…

  • Checkout Lines

    in

    Here are the reasons I’d Like to thank Wal-Mart, K-Mart, Target, and my local grocer for having 25 checkout lanes and only three open at any given time. – Waiting in long lines keeps my domestic brain from going completely idle — there’s so much to learn! – I can catch up on my magazine…

  • Dirty blonde

    in

    What do you call a blonde which is as sweet as a pickle and has dirty blonde hair? A sweet potatoe!

  • Playing Poker

    in

    When the phone rang, she excused herself from the sofa. A few seconds later she rejoined her male companion. “Who was it?” he asked. “My husband,” she replied. “I better get going,” he said. “Where was he?” “Relax. He’ll be late, he’s playing poker with you.”

  • Nojoke Can!

    in

    Nojoke can breathe out of their nose and mouth at the same time. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * You know, 95% of the people who read this try to do it…well, it’s…

  • Jewish, Too!

    in

    A young gay man calls home and tells his Jewish mother that he has decided to go back into the closet because he has met a wonderful girl and they are going to be married. He tells his mother that he is sure she will be happier since he knows that his gay lifestyle has…

  • Honecker III

    in

    “What’s the difference between Honecker and a telephone? None! Hang up and try again.”