5W1H boo!

Jokes

  • School?

    in

    While visiting a relative in Chicago, a University of Alabama student went to a party where he met a very attractive co-ed. Attempting to strike up a conversation with her, he asked, “Where does you go to school?” The co-ed, not at all impressed with his grammar or southern drawl, thought she would at least…

  • Garden Snakes are DANGEROUS!

    in

    I suggest you sit down and relax before reading this. Your sides will be aching before you finish. Garden Snakes are DANGEROUS! Author Unknown Green garden grass snakes can be dangerous. Yes, grass snakes, not rattlesnakes. A couple in Sweetwater, Texas had a lot of potted plants, and during a recent cold spell, the wife…

  • The Young Cowboy

    in

    A young cowboy walked into a seedy cafe in a small town in western Oklahoma. He sat at the counter and noticed an older cowboy with his arms folded staring blankly at a bowl of chili. After about 15 minutes of just sitting there staring at it, the young cowboy bravely asked, “If you ain’t…

  • Limerick

    in

    A lovely young lady named Kim Went down to the river to swim A man in a punt Stuck an oar in her eye And now she has to wear glasses.

  • A big tip

    in

    Two men were running for the same seat in their state senate. The two men had just finished meeting for lunch in a restaurant. Said the first man “I’m going to win the election because I put in a personal touch. For example, I left the waiter a ten dollar tip so that he would…

  • Promises

    in

    I don’t get why we teach little kids the popular saying “Cross my heart, hope to die, stick a needle in my eye.” And we wonder what is with all the violence? I mean come on that’s like 100% emo.

  • Hurricane 2

    in

    Yo momma’s so fat, when she walks she creates hurricanes.

  • $1,000,000

    in

    Did you hear about the new Polish million dollar lotery? You get a dollar a year for a million years!!!

  • Application to Date My Daughter

    in

    APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement job history, lineage, and current medical report from your doctor. 1. NAME _______________________________ DATE OF BIRTH ________________ 2. HEIGHT ____________________ WEIGHT __________ I.Q _______ G.P.A.______ 3. SOCIAL SECURITY # _____________ DRIVERS LICENSE #…

  • INSTRUCTIONS FOR GIVING YOUR CAT A PILL

    in

    1. Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat’s mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth…

  • Worth a Beer??

    in

    Steve, Bob, and Jeff were working on a very high scaffolding. Suddenly, Steve falls 50 feet to the ground below and he is killed instantly. After the coroner leaves with Steve’s joke, Bob volunteers to inform Steve’s wife of the terrible news. Some two hours later, Bob returns to the work site with a six-pack…

  • Elevator 2

    in

    Sorry I’m late… I had to walk down stairs… since yo momma took up the entire elevator and it broke.