Jokes
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Russian Redneck
in JokesQ:What do you call a 500 pound Russian that can bend you like a bendy straw? A:Sir
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The Three Bears
in JokesIt’s a sunny morning in a big forest and the Bear family is just waking up. Baby Bear goes downstairs and sits in his small chair at the table. He looks into his small bowl. It is empty! “Who’s been eating my porridge?” he squeaks. Daddy Bear arrives at the table and sits in his…
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I Can Take It…
in JokesThe man told his doctor that he just wasn’t able to do all the things around the house that he used to do. When the examination was complete, he said, “Now, Doc, I can take it. Tell me in plain English… What’s wrong with me?” “Well, in plain English,” the doctor replied, “you’re simply a…
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Always Wal- Mart
in JokesA woman goes into Wal- Mart to buy a rod and reel. She doesn’t know which one to get so she just grabs one and goes over to the cash register . A Wal – Mart associate is standing there with dark shades on. She says,” Excuse me , sir , can you tell me…
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My Summer Vacation
in JokesSummer was over and the teacher was asking the class about their vacations. She turned to little Johnny and asked what he did over the summer. “We visited my grandmother in Minneapolis, Minnesota,” he said. “That sounds like an excellent vocabulary word,” the teacher said, “Can you tell the class how you spell that?” Little…
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Insurance Claim
in JokesThe chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting machine and, after a little hopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company, suspecting negligence, sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and lost a finger. The chef’s claim…
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Some Groucho Marx Quotes
in JokesRoom service? Send up a larger room. Who are you going to believe; me, or your own eyes? A child of five could understand this. Fetch me a child of five. I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception. One morning I shot an elephant in my…
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Ring My Bell
in JokesPhone won’t stop ringing? Here’s what you do – Leola Starling of Ribrock, Tenn., had a serious telephone problem, but unlike most people she did something about it. The brand-new $10 million Ribrock Plaza Motel opened nearby and had acquired almost the same telephone number as Leola. From the moment the motel opened, Leola was…
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Waiting For the Train
in JokesA man and his wife check into a hotel. The husband wants to have a drink at the bar, but his wife is extremely tired so she decides to go on up to their room to rest. She lies down on the bed… just then, and elevated train passes by very close to the window…
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How to Easily Clean a Cat
in JokesHow To Easily Clean A Cat 1. Thoroughly clean the toilet. 2. Add the required amount of shampoo to the toilet water, and have both lids lifted. 3. Obtain the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom. 4. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both…