Jokes
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Explains A Lot
in JokesYo Momma’s so big, the Apollo 13 crashed into her head, right before it landed on the moon! Maybe that explains why she’s so stupid.
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Signs of Aging II
in JokesSigns of Aging You just can’t stand people who are intolerant. The best part of your day is over when your alarm clock goes off. You burn the midnight oil until 9 pm. Your pacemaker makes the garage door go up when you watch a pretty girl go by. The little grey haired lady you…
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Tie
in JokesA man was walking through the Sahara desert, desperate for water, when he saw something, far off in the distance. Hoping to find water, he walked towards the image, only to find a little old man sitting at a card table with a bunch of neckties laid out on it. The man asked, “Please, I’m…
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Who Invented the Snooze Button?
in JokesI want to kick the guy who invented the snooze button…then five minutes later, I’ll kick him again. Thanks Andrew!
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Great Bird
in JokesAnd so at last the beast fell and the unbelievers rejoiced. But all was not lost, for from the ash rose a great bird. The bird gazed down upon the unbelievers and cast fire and thunder upon them. For the beast had been reborn with its strength renewed, and the followers of Mammon cowered in…
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Russian Leaders
in JokesHow many Russian leaders does it take to change a lightbulb? We don’t know. Russian leaders don’t last as long as lightbulbs.
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What’s Your Sign? II
in JokesSign on the inside of a bathroom stall: “Beware of limbo dancers.” A hardware store in Oregon has a sign that reads: “Today’s special.” Below, it says: “So’s tomorrow.” Sign in school: “In case of atomic attack, the federal ruling concerning prayer in this building will be temporarily suspended.” Sign seen on an electricity pylon:…
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Acronyms
in JokesNFL – National Farting Legends BC – Before Comedy BAD – Being A Dumbass BEG – Big Evil Grin BF – Begging Forgiveness AA – Admirable Alcoholics NASA – Never Associate Sex with Aircrafts AAAAA – American Association Against Acronym Abuse ATLA – Another Three Letter Acronym BANANA – Being A Nuisance And Never Apologizing…
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You Know You’re a Redneck If…
in JokesYou think “Going the extra mile” means using toothpaste. You take a bar of soap to your local pool. Your dentures have fillings. Your idea of conservation is moving your Saturday night bath to every other Saturday night. Your wife has ever burnt out an electric razor. Your medical plan is not to get sick.