Jokes
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Kitten of the Dorm
in JokesMy college doesn’t allow pets in my dorm, so when I got a kitten I had the guys in my dorm refer to him as “the Book” to avoid suspicion. One morning, as I carried the kitten out to my car in a crate, my girlfriend stopped me and asked, “where are you taking the…
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You are in Trouble
in JokesOne day there were 3 children that were sent to the head of the school’s office. Their names were Fly, Dick and Piss. When they got there, no one was there so Fly hid on the desk, Dick hid under the desk and Piss started to jump around. When the head of the school got…
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Redneck Words
in JokesThe Atlanta School Board, feeling left out by the fuss over “Ebonics,” has decided to designate Southern slang, or “Hickphonics,” as a language to be taught in all Southern schools. Here are excerpts from the Hickphonics/English dictionary: Hire yew – noun. Greeting – How are you – Complete sentence. Remainder of greeting. Usage: “Howdy. How…
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Smartass Johnny
in JokesOne day, the teacher walks into her classroom and announces to the class that on each Friday, she will ask a question to the class and anyone who answers correctly doesn’t have to go to school the following Monday. On the first Friday, the teacher asks, “How many grains of sand are in the beach?”…
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Plane Ticket
in JokesA blonde was at an airport. She was excited, as this would be her very first time riding in a plane; she was flying to see her relatives, so she was at the airport, when she realized she had to buy a ticket. So she goes up to the counter where they are selling tickets.…
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Is That Dinner?
in JokesThere were cockroaches in the corner of a hotel when four people saw it and reacted differently. The hotel manager saw the cockroaches, and said “Can somejoke please clean these up? It’s ruining my hotel.” A customer saw it and said “Don’t the hotel facilities know how to maintain this hotel clean and free of…
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An American and Japanese were sitting next to each other
in JokesAn American and Japanese were sitting next to each other on a plane. The American turned and asked the Japanese, “What kind of -ese are you?” The Japanese man answered “I’m sorry, I don’t know what you mean.” “What kind of -ese are you?” the American repeated. The Japanese was showing obvious confusion. Irritated, the…
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The Perfect Girlfriend
in JokesManny was almost 29 years old. Most of his friends had already gotten married, and Manny just bounced from one relationship to the next. Finally a friend asked him, “What’s the matter, are you looking for the perfect woman? Are you THAT particular? Can’t you find anyone who suits you?” “No,” Manny replied. “I meet…
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More Chuck Norris Jokes
in JokesChuck Norris has two speeds – walk and kill. Chuck Norris sold law and order for using the names of his arms and legs. Chuck Norris hides his third arm underneath his beards. When Chuck Norris does a push up he is not pushing himself up, he is pushing the world down.