5W1H boo!

Jokes

  • Pilot and Navigator…such Good Friends

    in

    The pilot was sitting in his seat and pulled out a .38 revolver. He placed it on top of the instrument panel, and then asked the navigator, “Do you know what I use this for?” The navigator replied timidly, “No, what’s it for?” The pilot responded, “I use this on navigators who get me lost!”…

  • Stupid Cat

    in

    My cat is crazy. I had just sat down to eat my hot dog when she jumped in my lap. She scared the crap out of me. I mean, I literally screamed. Then I’m like, “Whatever.” and I went back to my hot dog. Then I felt something sharp on my fingers. That stupid thing…

  • A Job Application

    in

    This is an actual job application! NAME: Greg Bulmash DESIRED POSITION: Reclining. HA But seriously, whatever’s available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn’t be applying here in the first place. DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that’s not possible make…

  • Sunshine Friendship

    in

    How can you be sad when you are at the Sunshine Happiness Parade of Friendly Friends?

  • Every (Bad) Crowd Has A Silver Lining

    in

    Every (Bad) Crowd Has A Silver Lining (When I was in college, I used to work in the cafeteria. On this day, two girls are making fun of a third.) Mean Girl #1: “Oooooh, a hamburger? So much for that diet.” Mean Girl #2: “Are you kidding? She’s never been on a diet in her…

  • The Man From Rangoon

    in

    There once was a man from Rangoon Whose farts could be heard on the moon; When you’d least expect ’em They’d burst from his rectum With the force of a raging typhoon!!

  • The Wongs

    in

    A Chinese couple got married and were now known as Mr. Wong and Mrs. Wong. However, they didn’t know why, but they couldn’t have white children. So they went to the doctor to find out what the problem was, and they told him the story and the doctor replied, “Didn’t you know?” “Two Wongs don’t…

  • Ten Signs You Know You’re At A Bad Zoo

    in

    1. When no one else is looking, you swear that the monkeys are mocking you. 2. The bears’ exhibit is nothing more than the guys cut from the football team during training camp. 3. The stripes on the zebra tend to peel away in the heat. 4. The zookeeper always wants to take the rhino…

  • Female Comebacks

    in

    Man: Haven’t I seen you someplace before? Woman: Yes, that’s why I don’t go there anymore. Man: Is this seat empty? Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down. Man: Your place or mine? Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I’ll go to mine. Man: So, what do you do for…

  • Base Stealer

    in

    Why were the police at the baseball game? Because someone stole second base!

  • Dough Nations

    in

    The minister was preoccupied with thoughts of how he was going to ask the congregation to come up with more money than they were expecting for repairs to the church building. He gave the organist a copy of the service and asked her if she could come up with some kind of inspirational music to…

  • Monkey Manners

    in

    Several years ago, Baltimore Zoo decided to encamp colonies of tiny Green Monkeys and large Drill Baboons together on an island, the theory being that the primates would stay put because neither could swim. But the morning after the exhibit opened, zoo officials found little Green Monkeys off the island and wandering around the zoo.…