Jokes
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Lawyers Off Bridge….
in JokesQ: What do you call one lawyer thrown off a bridge into a river? A: Pollution. Q: What do you call all the lawyers thrown off a bridge? A: Solution.
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Actual Signs
in JokesThese are actual signs found around the world… =================================== A sign seen on a restroom dryer at O’Hare Field in Chicago: Do not activate with wet hands. At a car dealership: The best way to get back on your feet? Miss a car payment. At A Laundry Shop: How about we refund your money, send…
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It is Important
in JokesIt is important – 1. It is important to find a woman who is a good cook and housekeeper. 2. It is important to find a woman who makes good money. 3. It is important to find a woman who likes to have sex regularly. 4. It is important that these three women never meet.
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Top Ten Questions that Make You Go Huh?
in JokesHow much deeper would the ocean be without sponges? What happens if you get scared halfway to death twice? If the #2 pencil is so popular, why is it still #2? If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting? If you write a book about failure, and it doesn’t sell, is…
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What’s in a Name?
in JokesWhy has Edward Woodward got 4 d’s in his name? If he hadn’t he would be Ewar Woowar!
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Health Nuts…
in JokesHealth nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
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Dead Lawyer
in JokesA guy phones a law firm and says, “I want to speak to my lawyer.” The receptionist says, “I’m sorry, but your lawyer died last week.” The next day the same guy phones the law firm and says, “I want to speak to my lawyer.” Once again the receptionist replies, “I’m sorry, but your lawyer…
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Governmentium
in JokesThe recent hurricane and gasoline issues helped prove existence of a new element. In early October [2005] a major research institution announced discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element has been named “Government.” Governmentium (Gv) has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving…
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Best Diet
in JokesBest Friend to Former Fat Guy: Hey man, you’re looking good. Looks like you lost lots of pounds. Any secrets? Former Fat Guy: Eating dates. Best Friend: Oh yeah? I’ve read that compared to other foods, dates have the highest anti-oxidant values. How much and how many times a week do you eat dates? Former…
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Plane Trip
in JokesIf you’re on a plane going to California and you’re stuck in an aisle seat how do you trick a blonde into giving you her window seat? Tell her only the aisle seats are going to California.