Jokes
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The Best Of Everything
in JokesA Newfie goes to Toronto to seek his fortune, and after a couple of years is doing very well for himself. His brother calls from Newfoundland to tell him their father is very ill and probably won’t survive. “Well, if he dies I’ll pay for the funeral; the best of everything, spare no expense, just…
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What Type of Snake
in JokesThere where two snakes talking. The 1st one said, “Sidney, are we the type of snake who wrap ourselves around our prey and squeeze and crush until they’re dead? Or are we the type of snake who ambush our prey and bite them and they are poisioned?” The second snake says, “Why do you ask?”…
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Davy Crockett
in JokesHow many ears did Davy Crockett have? 3 – His right ear, his left ear, and his wild front-ear.
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Do Know If You are Crazy About Medieval Times?
in JokesWARNING: if your answer “yes” to any of these questions then you know that you are weird and you believe too much in dragons. Ocasionally when you see a bird do you find yourself saying “O merlin hand me my mighty sword so I can slay this foul dragon”? Do you find yourself trying to…
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Actual Headlines
in JokesSomething Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus? Prostitutes Appeal to Pope Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over Lung Cancer in Women Mushrooms Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Ax Miners Refuse to Work after Death Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant Stolen Painting Found by Tree Two…
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Romeo and Juliet
in Jokes(to be read aloud) ‘Twas in a restaurant they met Romeo and Juliet But Romeo couldn’t pay the bill So Romee-owed what Julie ate (“ett”).
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How to Treat Our Brothers and Sisters
in JokesA Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to “honor thy father and thy mother,” she asked “Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?” Without missing a beat one little boy answered, “Thou shall not kill.”
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Bishop, Priest, Rabbi
in JokesA bishop, a priest, and a Rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender looks at them and says, “What is this, a joke?”
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Top Ten Reasons You Know If You Have PMS
in Jokes1. Everyone around you has an attitude problem. 2. You’re adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelette. 3. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans. 4. Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say. 5. Your using your cellular phone to dial up every bumper sticker that says, “How’s my driving?…
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THE CONGREGATIONS
in JokesThere were two groups of people. The first one was of a taxi driver who was driving at a high speed that all the passengers knelt and prayed. The second was of a priest who was preaching but boring the people to the extent that they started walking out. WHO BROUGHT PEOPLE CLOSER TO GOD?…