Jokes

  • The Search For W

    The King sent for his wise men all To find a rhyme for W. When they had thought for a time, But could not think of a single rhyme, “I’m sorry,” he said,” To trouble you.”

  • More Deep Thoughts For Those Who Take Life Way Too Seriously

    – OK, . . . . so what’s the speed of dark? – When everything is coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane. – Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now. – Every one has a photographic memory. Some just don’t have film. – How much deeper would the ocean…

  • Dog Fur

    Why does a dog have fur? ‘Cause if he didn’t he’d be a little “bare”!

  • Drumming Up Business

    A musical director was having a lot of trouble with one drummer. He talked and talked and talked with the drummer, but his performance simply didn’t improve. Finally, before the whole orchestra, he said, “When a musician just can’t handle his instrument and doesn’t improve when given help, they take away the instrument, and give…

  • Oh, Brother!

    When a girl needs advice, why can’t her brother help her? Because he can’t be a brother and assist her too. (And a sister too!)

  • Parachute

    A parachute used once, but has never been open!

  • The Spectrum

    You might be a redneck if… You think that John Deere Green, Ford Blue, and Primer Gray are the three primary colors.

  • Buckwheat & Darla

    All the little rascals sat down for class, and the teacher decided to start off the day with a spelling quiz. The teacher first asked Darla, “Darla, can you spell dumb?” “D-u-m-b,” said Darla The teacher then said, “Can you use it in a sentence?” “Buckwheat is dumb.” “Okay, can you spell stupid?” said the…

  • Socks

    Teacher: What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green and one is blue with red spots ! Student: Yes it’s really strange. I’ve got another pair just like that at home

  • Death and Taxes?

    It used to be only death and taxes were inevitable. Now, of course there’s shipping and handling, too.

  • The Tape…

    A blonde decides to do something wild she hasn’t done before, so she sets out to rent her first x-rated adult video. She goes to the video store and, after looking around for a while, selects a title that sounds very stimulating. When she arrives home, lights some candles, slips into something comfortable, and puts…

  • No First Class

    A blonde boards a flight going to New York and sits in first class. A flight attendant asks to see her ticket. It’s a coach ticket. The flight attendant politely asks her to move. “I can do what eva I want! I’m a blonde.” says the blonde. The flight attendant tells one of the other…