Jokes
-
The Handyman
in JokesA proud father brought home a swing set he had just purchased for his children and immediately began to assemble it while all the neighborhood children anxiously waited to play on it. After several hours of reading the assembly instructions and trying to fit bolt A into slot B, etc., he gave up and called…
-
Boarding from what gate?
in JokesAt the airport for a business trip, I settled down to wait for the boarding announcement at Gate 35. Then I heard the voice on the public address system saying, “We apologize for the inconvenience, but Delta Flight 570 will board from Gate 41.” So my family picked up our luggage and carried it over…
-
Rollerblading
in JokesWhat’s the hardest thing about rollerblading? Telling your parents that you are gay.
-
Things in American Football that Sound Dirty
in Jokes20. The hole closed on him before he could penetrate it. 19. He came at his blind side and got him from behind. 18. He’s off to the sidelines for a quick blow. 17. It’s a game of inches. 16. That hole was so big, you could drive a truck through it. 15. When you…
-
At the Doctor’s
in JokesWhile his mother was having a consultation with the doctor, Little Johnny could be heard terrorizing the people in the waiting room, yet she made no attempt to restrain him. A few minutes later, they heard some clattering in an adjoining room, but still she did nothing. Finally, after an extra-loud crash, she casually said…
-
Lost Fortune
in JokesA wealthy man came home from a gambling trip and told his wife that he had lost their entire fortune and that they’d have to drastically alter their life-style. “If you’ll just learn to cook,” he said, “we can fire the chef.” “Okay,” she said. “And if you learn how to make love, we can…
-
Good Excuse
in JokesAlways keep several “get well” cards on the mantle. That way, if unexpected guests arrive they will think you have been sick and unable to clean.
-
God v. Scientists
in JokesOne day a group of eminent scientists got together and decided that mankind had come a long way and no longer needed God. So they picked one scientist to go and tell Him that they were done with Him. The scientist walked up to God and said, “God, we’ve decided that we no longer nee…
-
Questions That Have Confused Us All
in JokesQuestions that have Confused humankind!! Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, “I think I’ll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?” Who was the first person to say, “See that chicken there….I’m gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its butt.” Why do toasters always…
-
If You Love Someone…
in JokesShakespeare: If you love someone, Set her free …. If she ever comes back, she’s yours, If she doesn’t, here’s the poison, suicide yourself for her. Optimist: If you love someone, Set her free …. Don’t worry, she will come back. Suspicious: If you love someone, Set her free …. If she ever comes back,…
-
Hidden Picture
in JokesSee if you can find the hidden image in the group of characters below. It takes some concentration, but it’s worth it. Don’t cheat by scrolling down before you look at it. Have fun! You’ll be surprised when you see what it is… {{{{{{{===**++++*****+++++++++++????????/// //////////%\ @@@@@444+=+=****&^”””””}}}|||||||]]] xxxxxxxx>>xxxxxxxx ~~~~~~*********~~~~~~~~ ====||\/////////*****{}{}{} %%%%%%%%%%%% $$$&&$$&$$===~|~|~|~|====++ Most people find it…