5W1H boo!

Jokes

  • The Complainants

    in

    It seems that God received a delegation of animals complaining of their lot in life. There was an elephant, a giraffe, and a hen. The elephant complained, “Lord, I HATE THIS TRUNK YOU have given me. It gets in the way, and makes me look like a total fool!” The Lord said, “Don’t complain. It…

  • Latest Apps For Windows95

    in

    Microsoft Corporation chair, CEO and all-around babe magnet Bill Gates announced yesterday the introduction of a new product for Windows 95: Microsoft Panhandler. “The idea came to me the other day when a homeless man asked me for money,” recalls Gates. “I suddenly realized that we were missing a golden opportunity. Here was a chance…

  • Little Johnny Joke

    in

    A woman invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to her six- year-old son, Johnny, and said, “Would you like to say the blessing?” “I wouldn’t know what to say,” Little Johnny replied. “Just say what you hear Mommy say,” the mother said. Little Johnny bowed his head and said, “Dear Lord,…

  • GROSS!

    in

    One day a man was sitting on a toilet with his solar power laptop, then his laptop fell in the toilet. He ran out of the bathroom screaming. The next person sat down to use the toilet. When he was done, he stood up looked at the toilet and screamed out of the bathroom. All…

  • Hole

    in

    A girl was eating lunch in the cafeteria and she was laughing and talking to all friends. But as you know, it is very distracting to talk while you’re eating. So she goes to put a french fry into her mouth and before anyone notices, she looks down because, you guessed it, she missed her…

  • Comprendo>?

    in

    “Ciao amico, desidero comprare un mazzo di banane.” “Il compagno spiacente, questo è un farmacista.”

  • Oh, Those Lawbreakers!

    in

    Two guys were walking along a road in Georgia when they were struck by a police car driven by a drunken cop. One guy was thrown through the windshield and his buddy was knocked down an embankment. The first guy was charged with breaking and entering; and the second with leaving the scene of an…

  • Ethel was a Bit of a Demon…

    in

    Ethel was a bit of a demon in her wheelchair. She loved to charge around the nursing home, taking corners on one wheel and getting up to maximum speed in the long corridors. Because the poor woman was one sandwich short of a picnic, the other residents tolerated her. Some of the male residents even…

  • 100 Camels For Wife

    in

    US tourists, a man and his wife are traveling in the Middle East. An Arab approaches the husband, saying, “I’ll give you 100 camels for your woman.” After a long silence, the husband says, “She’s not for sale.” The indignant wife says, “What took you so long to answer?” The husband replied, “I was trying…

  • Report on Frog

    in

    There was a child named Laura. She asked her mom what the hardest report she ever had to do was. Her mom said, “It was to write an essay on the belly of a frog.” Laura said, “Wow!!How did you get the frog in to the typewriter?”

  • Equivocator

    in

    Knock, knock! Who’s there, in th’ other devil’s name? Faith, here’s an equivocator that could swear in both the scales against either scale, who committed treason enough for God’s sake, yet could not equivocate to heaven. O, come in, equivocator.

  • Strange Labels

    in

    Some items have the strangest directions/ warnings. Here are a few I’ve noticed. On a toilet plunger: Do not use as an umbrella. On a carton of milk: May contain dairy products. On a tricycle: Will hurt if on top of someone. On popcorn: Will pop if heated. On candy: Directions: Take of wrapper, insert…