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Jokes

  • Managers

    in

    Q: How many managers does it take to change a light bulb? A: We’ve formed a task force to study the problem of why light bulbs burn out and to figure out what, exactly, we as supervisors can do to make the bulbs work smarter, not harder.

  • Now, Where Was I?

    in

    Leonid Brezhnev, a former ruler of Russia, was thought not to be too bright. He comes to address a big Communist party meeting, and starts: “Dear Comrade Imperialists,” The whole hall perked up – “what did he say?” Brezhnev tried again… “Dear Comrade Imperialists,” Well, by now the hall was in pandemonium – was he…

  • Genes…

    in

    Your mama is so fat because your mama’s mama passed down genes!

  • 4 Floors

    in

    In a 4 story building there lived 4 people: On the 1st floor lived a cop On the 2nd floor lived a thief On the 3rd floor lived a blind man On the 4th floor lived a very clean woman that took alot of showers. One day the woman on the 4th floor got into…

  • The Brakes

    in

    Why didn’t the brakes want to work? Because it was time for their lunch break.

  • Fart

    in

    If you want to make someone laugh, use this line: Sorry. say that again. I couldn’t hear you over my fart.

  • A Clock

    in

    When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

  • The Jewish Samurai

    in

    Back in the olden days when Samurai were important, there was a powerful Japanese Emperor who needed a new Chief Samurai. So he sent out a declaration throughout the entire known world of that time that he was searching for a CHIEF. A year passed, but only 3 people applied for the very demanding position;…

  • Blonde and a Mosquito

    in

    Q: Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A: A mosquito will stop sucking when you smack it!

  • Doing the Splits

    in

    An English professor complained to the pet shop proprietor, “The parrot I purchased uses improper language.” “I’m surprised,” said the owner. “I’ve not taught that bird to swear.” “Oh, it isn’t that,” explained the professor, “but yesterday I heard him split an infinitive.”

  • Here About The…

    in

    Hey, did you hear about the… Paper company that folded? Brake company on the skids? Bra manufacturers that went bust? Surgeon who was forced to take a cut in his salary? Cigarette company that went up in smoke? Baker who was short of dough? Refrigerator manufacturer that had its assets frozen? Corset firm that felt…

  • Man’s Best Friend

    in

    An old man and old woman had been married for about 52 years when one day the old woman died. The entire family showed up to the funeral. Every day after the funeral the old man would show up at the grave with his dog and spend a few minutes there. About two months later,…