Jokes

  • Alamo

    There are four people on a plane. a guy from england, a guy from france, a guy from texas, and a guy from mexico, all of a sudden the plane starts falling out of the sky. The pilot says “We a losing altitude we need to get rid of some weight. So they throw everything…

  • Mr. or Mrs. Computer

    Is your computer male of female? As you are aware, ships have long been characterized as being female (e.g., “Steady as she goes”, or “She’s listing to starboard, Captain!” Recently a group of computer scientists (all males) announced that computers should also be referred to as being female. Their reasons for drawing this conclusions follow:…

  • barbie’s Christmas Letter To Santa

    barbie c/o Mattel, Inc. El Segundo, CA 90245 To: Santa Claus North Pole, North Pole Dear Santa: Listen you ugly little troll, I’ve been helping you out every year, playing at being the perfect Christmas Present, wearing skimpy bathing suits in frigid weather, and drowning in fake tea from one too many tea parties, and…

  • Sign

    Sign in a Chinese Pet Store: “Buy one dog, get one flea…”

  • Giraffes Fit Into a Mini

    Q: How many giraffes will fit into a Mini? A: None. It’s full of elephants.

  • animal Lust

    An old farmer is having trouble getting his bull to breed with the cows and is lamenting the fact to a few of his friends down at the local beer hall. One of them says, “Ya know, Ben, I used to have the same trouble with my bull, but I got it fixed really quick.”…

  • Horoscopes By Adam Sandler

    Aquarius (Jan 23 – Feb 22) – You have an inventive mind and are inclined to be progressive. You lie a great deal. You make the same mistakes repeatedly because you are stupid. Everyone thinks you are a fucking jerk. Pisces (Feb 23 – Mar 22) – You are a pioneer type and think most…

  • Snowman And Vampire

    What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite

  • Eskimo Pigs

    Q)Where do eskimo pigs live? A)In a pigloo.

  • Ant From Elephant

    How can you tell an elephant from an ant? An ant is easier to pick up!

  • Wheres the Cowboy??

    Knock KnocK??? Who’s there? Ya Ya who? Where did that cowboy come from??

  • 3 Chinese

    Once, there was 3 Chinese people who wanted to go to America. Their names were Bu, Chu, and Fu. Since these names would sound awfully weird, Bu said, “I’ll change my name to Buck, adding ‘ck’ to the end.” Chu said, “Then I’ll become Chuck.” After a long pause, Fu said, “I guess I’ll go…