Jokes
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The Best Way to Pray
in JokesA priest, a minister and a guru sat discussing the best positions for prayer while a telephone repairman worked nearby. “Kneeling is definitely the best way to pray,” the priest said. “No,” said the minister. “I get the best results standing with my hands outstretched to Heaven.” “You’re both wrong,” the guru said. “The most…
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Things you learn from your kids
in Jokes1. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes. 2. A 3-year-old is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant. 3. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite. 4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong…
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Cross The Road
in JokesWhy did the chicken cross the road? Because Kentucky Fried was on the side he was leaving from.
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Paris, Paris!
in JokesSeems Paris Hilton is having visits from a speech therapist – she’s having trouble finishing a sentence!
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Testing, 1, 2
in JokesYour mom is so stupid, when the doctor told her she had to take a pregnancy test, she asked how long she had to study
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A Chimp and A Blonde
in JokesA blonde lady motorist was about two hours from San Diego when she was flagged down by a man whose truck had broken down. The man walked up to the car and asked, “Are you going to San Diego?” “Sure,” answered the blonde, “do you need a lift?” “Not for me. I’ll be spending the…
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How To Keep The IT Guy Happy
in JokesHow To Keep The IT Guy Happy When you call us to have your computer moved, be sure to leave it buried under half a ton of postcards, baby pictures, stuffed animals, dried flowers, bowling trophies and children’s art. We don’t have a life, and we find it deeply moving to catch a fleeting glimpse…
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Not For Kids
in JokesPerfect breasts (o)(o) Silicone breasts ( + )( + ) Perky breasts (*)(*) Big nipple breasts (@)(@) A cups o o D cups { O }{ O } Wonder bra breasts (oYo) Cold breasts ( ^ )( ^ ) Lopsided breasts (o)(O) Pierced Breasts (Q)(O) Hanging Tassels Breasts (p)(p) Grandma’s Breasts o / o /…
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The Television bargain
in JokesThere was a nearly-new television for sale the other day. It has a 42-inch plasma screen, and I bought it for $50. The only thing wrong was that there was no volume control – but at that price, I couldn’t turn it down!
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Cat Calls
in JokesA veterinarian surgeon had a bad day, but when he got home from tending to all the sick animals, his wife was waiting with a long cool drink and a romantic candle-lit dinner. After dinner, they had a few more drinks and went happily to bed. At about 2:00 in the morning, the phone rang.…
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Memory Loss
in JokesOnce there was an old couple who went to the doctor for their checkup. They were told that nothing was physically wrong with them, but that they were both suffering from memory loss, and may want to start writing things down. That night when the couple is at home watching TV, the old man gets…