5W1H boo!

Jokes

  • Signs Seen in USA

    in

    Signs in the USA (mostly) In front of a New Hampshire restaurant: “Now serving live lobsters” On the menu of a restaurant: “Blackened bluefish” In a Maine restaurant: “Open seven days a week and weekends.” In a New Jersey restaurant: “Open seven days a week and weekends.” On the walls of a Baltimore estate: “Trespassers…

  • Astounding Discovery

    in

    One day, two monks were in the vaults of the monastery going through the old scrolls. “You see, there are the originals,” said the first monk. “All the new scrolls were copied from these.” “Can I see one?” “Sure. This is one outlines the rules for monkdom . . ” All of a sudden, the…

  • Drugged Up Bear

    in

    A bear goes into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender replies, “Sorry we dont serve bears here.” The bear, upset, says angrily, “Gimme a beer or I’ll eat that lady over there!” The bartender says, “Go ahead, I don’t care.” The bear goes and savagely mauls the woman then eats her in front…

  • Boy Scouts

    in

    How many boy scouts does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Three- Each to do one good turn daily.

  • You Know You’re a Video Game Freak If …

    in

    You know you’re a video game freak if … You hire a babysitter to watch your video games. When you go swimming you put your nintendo D.S. in the glove box so no one will try to commit a felony and try to steal it. You cry when your data gets deleted. When you lose…

  • Microwave Pakistani

    in

    WARNING: SOME PEOPLE MAY FIND THIS RACIST, ALTHOUGH I MEAN NO OFFENCE. What do you call a Pakistani in a microwave? Ba-ding!!!

  • Abbreviations Limerick

    in

    She frowned and called him Mr. Because in sport he kr. And so in spite That very night The Mr. kr. sr.

  • Stubborn Clerk

    in

    A man had just moved from his big apartment in NYC, to a big farm way out in the country side. Just days after he moved, he realized he was out of chicken feed, so he went down to the nearest store. (a good 2-hour drive away). “Can I get me some chicken feed?” the…

  • I Know

    in

    I know the day I gave up exercise. You wanna know? Check my birth certificate.

  • Schizo

    in

    I’m a schizophrenic and so am I.

  • Well that’s no good

    in

    All lazy peoples’ slogan must be “The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.” But fear not for all of you who wake up early just keep this in mind: The first cat gets the mouse.

  • Hell In A Handbag

    in

    Me: “That will be 17.50, please.” Customer: “Are you a Christian, dear?” Me: “Why do you ask?” Customer: “Are you?” Me: “Well, no. Why do you want to know?” Customer: “Oh. I would like to be helped by someone else, please.” Manager: “Good morning ma’am, I hear you’ve been having a problem with the clerk?”…