5W1H boo!

Jokes

  • Marketing

    in

    You see a fabulous girl/guy at a party. You approach them and say, “I’m fantastic in bed.” That’s Direct Marketing. You’re at a party with a bunch of friends and see a fabulous girl/guy. You have one of your friends approach them, point at you and say, “She’s/he’s fantastic in bed.” That’s Advertising. You see…

  • Why Elephants Need Locksmiths

    in

    Why did the elephant call the locksmith? Because he lost his keys in his trunk!

  • Electrically

    in

    My friend Sam was taking electricity as one of his high school electives, originally being interested in robotics. Unfortunately, he changed his mind, but was still stuck with finishing his despised electricity books. “Do you have any idea of a direction you are going to go now?” asked my mother. He shook his head. “No…

  • Mad Scientist

    in

    There was a mad scientist (a mad …social… scientist) who kidnapped three colleagues, an engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician, and locked each of them in separate cells with plenty of canned food and water – but no can opener. A month later, returning, the mad scientist went to the engineer’s cell and found it…

  • Pet Store Bomb

    in

    A man goes into a pet store, plants a bomb, and as he leaves, calls out, “You have one minute to get out!” At that, a tortoise at the back of the shop shouts, “You BASTARD!”

  • In Sveden . . .

    in

    At a local college dance in Sweden, an American asked a local girl to dance. While they were dancing, he gave her a little squeeze, and whispered, “In America, we call this a hug.” She replied, “Yaah, in Sveden ve call dis a hug, too.” A little later, he gave her a peck on the…

  • AF1 Monkeys

    in

    This joke is kind of dated but it’s still funny. Al Gore, Bill, Hilary, and Chelsea Clinton were all riding in the Airforce One. Out of the blue Gore says, “I could throw a hundred, one dollar bills out the window and make a hundred people happy.” Bill says, “Well I could throw ten, ten…

  • The Midget

    in

    A 6’4″ man hit a midget in the rear while at a red light. The midget gets out of his car and comes up to the man and says, “I’m NOT happy!” and the man replied, “Which one are you, then?”

  • Meatless Fridays

    in

    John Smith was the only Protestant to move into a large Catholic neighborhood. On the first Friday of Lent, John was outside grilling a big juicy steak on his grill. Meanwhile, all of his neighbors were eating cold tuna fish for supper. This went on each Friday of Lent. On the last Friday of Lent,…

  • Why Eminems Wife Filed a Divorce

    in

    –That comment about Elton being “twice the woman” she ever was. –Caught Eminem fantasizing about killing other women. –Sick of hiding her love for the Insane Clown Posse. –Sure, he talks and raps like a black man, but when he takes down his pants… –Would rather end up like Nicole Kidman than Nicole SIMPSON. –Overheard…

  • First Time on Airplane

    in

    It was the little boy’s first time on an airplane. He was so excited. When the airplane engines started, the little boy closed his eyes and counted to 100. Then he opened his eyes and peered outside. Pointing, he said to the woman next to him, “See those tiny people down there? They are just…

  • 3 blondes in the forest

    in

    There were three blondes in the forest and they saw some tracks. The first blonde said, “Look, bear tracks.” The second blonde said, “No, stupid, those are wolf tracks.” The third blonde said, “You’re both wrong, those are rabbit tracks.” Then the train came and ran them all over.