Jokes
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When Johnny Comes Home Again
in JokesJohnny comes home from school, and shouts, “Mother!” Mother calls from upstairs, “If you wish to speak to me, come upstairs so you don’t have to shout.” When Johnny gets upstairs, she says, “Now, what did you want to say to me?” “Just that I trod in some dog do, but it seems to have…
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Amazing Facts 4
in Jokes# Zero is the only number that cannot be represented by Roman numerals # Kites were used in the American Civil War to deliver letters and newspapers. # The song, “Auld Lang Syne” is sung at the stroke of midnight in almost every English-speaking country in the world to bring in the new year. #…
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Chicken Pox
in JokesWhy did the chicken pox cross the road? He was afraid if he stayed he would be spotted.
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How To Bathe A Cat
in JokesI. Know that although the cat has the advantage of quickness and lack of concern for human life, you have the advantage of strength. Capitalize on that advantage by selecting the battlefield. Don’t try to bathe him in an open area where he can force you to chase him. Pick a very small bathroom. If…
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Mean Doctor #2
in JokesA new father goes into the delivery room to see his newborn baby boy. The doctor pulls him aside and says, ” I have the most amazing news! Your boy can fly!” The doctor sees the doubt in the father’s eyes so he offers a demonstration. He picks up the little boy, holds him high…
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Blondes on the Roof
in JokesThere were two blondes sitting on the roof of a house. The ladder they had used to get on the roof fell down onto the ground. Blonde #1: Go get the ladder! Blonde #2: No way! If I jump down, I’ll kill myself. Blonde #1: I know! I’ll shine my flashlight down to the ground…
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Four-by-Twos
in JokesSome men in a pickup truck drove to a lumber yard. One of the men walked into the office and said, “We need some four-by-twos.” The clerk asked, “You mean two-by-fours, don’t you?” The man said, “I’ll go check,” and went back to the truck. He returned shortly and said, “Yeah, I meant two-by-four.” “All…
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Too Close For Comfort
in JokesA cowboy entered a barber shop, sat on the barber’s chair and said, “I’ll have a shave and a shoe shine, please.” The barber began to lather his face while a woman with the biggest, firmest, most beautiful breasts he had ever seen knelt down and began to shine his shoes. “Young lady,” the cowboy…
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Laundry Woes
in JokesA woman sends her clothing out to the Chinese laundry. When it comes back, there are still stains in her panties. The next week she encloses a note to the Chinese laundryman that says, “Use more soap on panties.” This goes on for several weeks, the woman sending the same note to the laundry. “Use…
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The Catholic Glossary
in JokesHaving been raised a Catholic and having gone to church some time in my past, I think these are still verifiable! AMEN: The only part of a prayer that everyone knows. BULLETIN: 1. Parish information read only during the homily. 2. Catholic air conditioning. 3. Your receipt for attending Mass. CHOIR: A group of people…