Jokes
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65 Fun Things to Do at Walmart
in Jokes1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations. 2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store. 3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day. 4. Start playing football — see how many people you…
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Crazy Laws in California
in Jokes-Sunshine is guaranteed to the masses. -animals are banned from mating publicly within 1,500 feet of a tavern, school, or place of worship. -Many animals are illegal to own as pets, including snails, sloths, and elephants. -Bathhouses are against the law. -In an animal shelter, lizards and snakes are treated under the same guidelines as…
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Texan’s New Car
in JokesThree cowboys were hanging out in the bunkhouse. “I know that smart aleck Tex,” said the first. “He’s going to start bragging about that new foreign car he bought as soon as he gets back.” “Not Tex,” the second cowboy replied. “He’ll always be just a good ol’ boy. When he walks in, I’m sure…
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Niagara – Falls?
in JokesTwo blond adventurers were on holiday, and went to see Niagara Falls. After a few drinks one night, one bet the other $500 he couldn’t carry him across the falls on a tightrope. After a very scary trip, his friend managed to stagger safely across, and the wager was duly paid. “That was close,” said…
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Church Announcements
in JokesThese are actual announcements from church… 1. This afternoon there will be a meeting in the South and North ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends. 2. Tuesday at 4:00 P.M. there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk, please come early. 3. Wednesday, the ladies Liturgy Society…
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Farting in Public
in JokesDid you ever have to fart, on a bus, or an airplane, or in some public place, but hadn’t been farting all that day? So you didn’t really know the nature of the beast, you only knew there was LOTS of it! In a situation like that, what you have to do is to release…
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Deadly Things To Say To Your Pregnant Wife
in Jokes17. “I finished the Oreo’s.” 16. “Not to imply anything, but I don’t think the kid weighs forty pounds.” 15. “Y’know, looking at her, you’d never guess that Pamela Lee had a baby.” 14. “I sure hope your thighs aren’t gonna stay that flabby forever.” 13. “Well, couldn’t they induce labor? The 25th is the…