Jokes
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36 Truths About Children
in JokesFrom a San Diego Father who has identified 35 truths he learned from his children: There is no such thing as childproofing your house. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite. A 4-year-old’s voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant. If…
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Nun’s Secret
in JokesAttending her first confession, the new nun tells the priest that she has a terrible secret. “Sister Dominique,” the priest says, your secret is safe in the sanctity of the confessional.” “Father,” she says, “I never wear underwear under my habit.” With a little chuckle, the priest says, “That is not too serious, Sister Dominique.…
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Predicting The Weather
in JokesA film crew was on location deep in the desert. One day, an old Indian went up to the director and said, “Tomorrow storm.” The next day there was a sandstorm. Several days later, the Indian went up to the director and said, “Tomorrow rain.” The next day it rained for the entire day. “This…
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A Women’s top secrets to a GREAT relationship
in Jokes1. It is important that a man helps you around the house and has a job. 2. It is important that a man makes you laugh. 3. It is important to find a man you can count on and doesn’t lie to you. 4. It is important that a man is good in bed and…
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Making the Rounds
in JokesWhile making rounds, a doctor points out an X-ray to a group of first year medical students. “As you can see,” she says, “the patient limps because his left fibula and tibia are radically arched. Michael, what would you do in a case like this?” “Well,” ponders the student, “I suppose I’d limp too.”
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Birth Class
in JokesWhen our second child was on the way, my wife and I attended a pre-birth class aimed at couples who had already had at least one child. The instructor raised the issue of breaking the news to the older child. It went like this: “Some parents,” she said, “tell the older child, ‘We love you…
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The Whisper
in JokesA mother took her little boy to church. While in church the little boy said, “Mommy, I have to pee.” The mother said to the little boy, “It’s not appropriate to say the word ‘pee’ in church. So, from now on whenever you have to ‘pee’ just tell me that you have to ‘whisper.’” The…
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Dog Wood Tree
in JokesFarmer: This is a dogwood tree. Cityman: How can you tell? Farmer: By its bark
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Ways to Annoy People in an Elevator
in JokesAnnoying Things To Do On An Elevator 1) Crack open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask “Got enough air in there?” 2) Stand silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off. 3) When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if…