5W1H boo!

Jokes

  • Watch Out For that Snake

    in

    What do snakes use for birth control? An Anacondom!

  • Attack of the Abstract Noun

    in

    “An abstract noun,” the teacher said, “is something you can think of, but you can’t touch it. Can you give me an example of one?” “Sure,” a teenage boy replied. “My father’s new car.”

  • 12 Signs You’ve Joined A Cheap HMO!

    in

    1. Staff physicians include Dr. Who, Dr. Kevorkian, and Dr. Demento. 2. Tongue depressors taste faintly of Fudgesicle. 3. Annual breast exam conducted at Hooters. 4. With your last HMO, your birth control pills didn’t come in different colors with little “M’s” on them. 5. Your “primary care physician” is wearing the pants you gave…

  • Got A Yen?

    in

    According to inside contacts, the Japanese banking crisis shows no signs of ameliorating. If anything, it’s getting worse. Following last week’s news that Origami Bank had folded, we are hearing that Sumo Bank has gone belly up, and Bonsai Bank plans to cut back some of its branches. Karaoke Bank is up for sale, and…

  • MORE Haiku Error Messages

    in

    ere is a chasm of carbon and silicon the software can’t bridge. Yesterday it worked Today it is not working Windows is like that To have no errors Would be life without meaning No struggle, no joy You step in the stream, but the water has moved on. This page is not here. No keyboard…

  • Oklahoma

    in

    At a southern university, students in the psychology program were attending their first class on emotional extremes. “Just to establish some parameters,” said the professor to the student from Arkansas, “what is the opposite of joy?” “Sadness,” said the student. “And the opposite of depression?” he asked of the young lady from Oklahoma. “Elation,” she…

  • I Had a Memory Once

    in

    I had a great memory once, but I don’t know where I left it. You haven’t seen it lying around anywhere have you? No? No what?

  • Baby

    in

    I heard you got a baby. Dad: Yes, and I am very happy. So what about the wife? Dad: She still doesn’t know.

  • Golf is Like…

    in

    Golf is like marriage: If you take yourself too seriously, it won’t work — and both are expensive.

  • This Isn’t The Place For That!

    in

    The Reverend Paul Fuzz was the pastor of a small congregation in a little town. One day, as he was walking down Main Street, he happened to notice a female member of his congregation sitting in the town bar, drinking. He felt this was very sinful and definitely not something a member of his congregation…

  • The Baptism

    in

    After a hardy Indiana rainstorm filled all the potholes in the streets and alleys, a young mother watched her two little boys playing in the puddle through her kitchen window. The older of the two, a five year old lad, grabbed his sibling by the back of his head and shoved his face into the…

  • What Did YOU Do Today?

    in

    Two maggots were playing billiards. One says, “I’m bored.” The other replies, “Beats fishing.”