5W1H boo!

Jokes

  • Need More Excercise

    in

    A 75-year-old woman went to the doctor for a check up. The doctor told her she needed more cardiovascular activity, and recommended that she engage in sexual activity three times a week. A bit embarrassed, she said to the doctor, “Please tell my husband.” The doctor went out into the waiting room and told the…

  • The Whale Fact

    in

    A male blue whale, can ejaculate 40 gallons of sperm during sex. Only 10% of that will get to the female. The other 36 gallons is left in the sea. No wonder the sea’s so salty.

  • Some One-Liners

    in

    Happiness doesn’t bring money. I want to be what I was when I wanted to be what I’m now. The government has at least one problem for every solution. Only the conservatives can make the country like it used to be – a huge swamp full of dinosaurs. Democracy is having freedom of speech, freedom…

  • Ding-Dong

    in

    Knock-Knock. Who’s there? Avon Lady, your door bell is broken.

  • The Date

    in

    Two guys were at the gym. Bob asked Ben, “How did the date go with my sister?” Bob replied, “I didn’t know your sister was famous. When I took her to the opera, and when it was over no one would leave until she stood up and sang.”

  • ALCOHOL WARNING

    in

    New warning labels for liquor, wine and beer containers: WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what in the world happened to your bra and panties. ____ WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not. ____ WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor…

  • Names

    in

    Once a blonde decided that she wanted a kid. when she had it she couldnt decide what to name it. she asked around but no one had the right name. some people wanted huga butte and some wanted gatta pee pee. she went with ma hore

  • Seafood

    in

    I went to a seafood disco last week and pulled a mussel.

  • IRS

    in

    IRS… we’ve got what it takes, to take what you’ve got

  • In Emergency, Break Glass

    in

    A pregnant woman was on a bus. As the bus was going along, the woman started to give birth. An off-duty doctor rushed to her side and started to help her. He shouted to the rest of the bus, “Can someone help me?” Then towards the back of the bus a blond got up and…

  • Horse

    in

    A man was buying a horse and was given a few simple instructions. To make the horse walk, he would say “few.” To make the horse run, he would say “many.” To make the horse stop he would say “amen.” On the man’s first ride all was going well. “few!” the man shouted and the…

  • The Lamp

    in

    A six-year-old boy came home from playing at his friend’s house and told his mother that he had broken a lamp when he threw a football. “It’s all right, mum,” he said, brightly; “you don’t have to buy them another! Charlie’s mum said it was irreplaceable!”