Jokes
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Writers Block
in JokesThere once was a blonde who was writing a book. She didn’t know what else to write, so she took a block from her little sisters toy box and went to go and watch TV. Her mom comes in and sees the book on the table with the wooden block on it. She goes ask…
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Hunting
in JokesThere’s this couple and they’ve just been married. The man says to the wife, “I’m goin’ hunting”. She says, “Oh, no, your not, we are married now.” The husband says to himself, “I’ve got to figure out a way to go hunting.” So he goes out and buys his wife all this hunting equipment and…
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Whiskey and Soda
in JokesA Baptist preacher was seated next to a cowboy on a flight to Texas. After the plane took off, the cowboy asked for a whiskey and soda, which was brought and placed before him. The flight attendant then asked the preacher if he would like a drink. Appalled, the preacher replied, “I’d rather be tied…
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Musically Speaking . . .
in JokesWhat is the definition of perfect pitch? When you throw the accordion into the dumpster and it lands on the banjo. What is the definition of a quarter tone? Two oboes playing in unison. What do you call a guitar player who just broke up with his girlfriend?? Homeless. How do you know if the…
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Big Momma at the Family Reunion
in JokesYo mama is so fat, your family photos have to be shot from a plane.
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Talking Blondes
in JokesWhy doesn’t a blonde talk during sex? Because her mother told her never to talk to strangers.
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Things My Mother taught Me
in JokesMy mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE – “If you’re going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning!” My mother taught me RELIGION – “You’d better pray that will come out of the carpet.” My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL – “If you don’t straighten up, I’m…
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Cartwheeling For Cash
in JokesOne day a little girl came running into her house yelling, “Mommy, I got five dollars!” The mother was curious, so she asked her child where she got the five dollars from. The little girl replied, “Tommy down the street gave me five dollars for doing cartwheels while he sat in the tree.” The mother…