5W1H boo!

Jokes

  • Actual Headline#2

    in

    An actual headline: “Police Begin Campaign To Run Down Jaywalkers”

  • Diapers

    in

    Boys are like diapers…. Always on my ass and full of shit.

  • The Drunk Test

    in

    A man goes into the bar and orders a scotch. He gulps it down, and looks in his hand. He orders another one. He gulps it down and orders another one. He again looks in his hand. He orders 2 scotches this time and gulps them both down. He looks in his hand. The bartender,…

  • Bragging

    in

    Four guys are drinking in a bar, bragging about their sons. “My son,” the first one says, “started out washing cars at dealership, but now owns the dealership and just gave one of his friends four new cars of his choice!” “My son,” said the second, “started out serving lunch in a real estate office,…

  • The Irish Question

    in

    “Is that right, that you Dubliners always answer a question with another question?” “Now, who would be telling you that?”

  • Adopted By the Yankees

    in

    A child custody case was held in court. The judge felt that the mother and father were both fit to be parents and therefore couldn’t decide who he should grant full custody to. So he asks the little boy, “Would you like to live with your mother?” “No,” said the boy. “Why not?” said the…

  • The Search For Bugs

    in

    A new bride told her husband she was concerned that their honeymoon suite in the Watergate Hotel in Washington, D.C., might still be bugged from the Watergate scandal days. The groom agreed to check it out. He looked behind the drapes, he looked behind the pictures, he looked behind the mirrors, he looked under the…

  • A Few Chauvinist Bits …..

    in

    These are just a few of those typical sexist jokes- they make me chuckle ( or groan) so ya know- I’m a girl : ) *what’s worse than a male chauvinist pig? – A woman who won’t do what she’s told. *I married Mrs. Right- I just wish I’d known her first name was Always…

  • Hobson’s Choice

    in

    Father: “So you want to be my son-in-law, do you?” Boyfriend: “Not particularly, but since I want to marry your daughter, I haven’t much choice!”

  • U Rip

    in

    One day Socrates is walking down the road and sees his old friend Uripedes carrying a pair of pants. Socrates says “Hi, Uripedes” Uripidees says “I sure did, Usodes?”

  • A Mushroom

    in

    A mushroom walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender, not wanting to serve a mushroom, says “Uh uh, I’m not serving no mushroom.” “Aw, come on – I’m a fungi!” the mushroom replies.

  • Lets Skip the Handshake

    in

    You know how, in the olden days, you were named for what you did? For instance, if you were a blacksmith, your last name would be Smith, if you were a baker, your last name was Baker. It kind of makes me wonder what John Hancock’s ancestors did for a living.