5W1H boo!

Jokes

  • Candel

    in

    Q: What does a blonde do when it gets cold? A: Sits around a candle Q: What does she do when it gets really cold? A: Lights it

  • Ten Commandments

    in

    The real reason that we can’t have the Ten Commandments in a Courthouse: You cannot post “Thou Shalt Not Steal,” “Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery” and “Thou Shall Not Lie” in a building full of lawyers, judges and politicians. It creates a hostile work environment!

  • Musical Chairs

    in

    Once there was this Australian guy, an English guy, and an American guy. They all went into a furniture store to by a chair that played music when you sat on it (aka musical chair). The next day the Australian guy comes back and says he wants to return the chair. When the clerk asks…

  • Toenails

    in

    Yo mama’s so big, she had to call Sherwin-Williams to paint her toenails!

  • The Human Resources Dictionary

    in

    “COMPETITIVE SALARY” We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors. “JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY” We have no time to train you. “CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE” We don’t pay enough to expect that you’ll dress up. “MUST BE DEADLINE-ORIENTED” You’ll be six months behind schedule on your first day. “SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED” Some time each night…

  • The Godfather Was Dying

    in

    The Godfather was dying. He summoned one of his godsons and said softly, “Mikey, before I go, I gotta ask one favor.” “Yes, godfather, anything,” said Mikey. “I worship you.” The old man’s eyes narrowed. “I want you to go to my bathroom and masturbate.” The lad looked around uneasily. “I dunno, boss. That’s kinda…

  • Accountant

    in

    Fresh out of business school, the young man answered a want ad for an accountant. Now he was being interviewed by a very nervous man who ran a small business that he had started himself. “I need someone with an accounting degree,” the man said. “But mainly, I’m looking for someone to do my worrying…

  • Game Show

    in

    A man was on a game show. He was on his final question; all he had to do was answer that question right, and he would win 1 million dollars! The game show host said, “All right, for your final question: ‘What are the names of three of Santa’s reindeer?’” The man grinned and said,…

  • The letter E

    in

    Why is the letter E like London? Because it is the Capital of England

  • Winning The Nobel Prize!

    in

    A man is driving down a country road, when he spots a male farmer standing in the middle of a huge field of grass. Of course the farmer is a blond. 🙂 He pulls the car over to the side of the road and notices that the farmer is just standing there, doing nothing, looking…

  • Hold That Thought!

    in

    ON MODERNISM How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two. One to hold the giraffe and the other to fill the bathtub with brightly colored machine tools. THOUGHTS ON METAPHYSICS Deja Vu: The feeling that somehow, somewhere, you’ve been kicked in the head like this before. ON DEEP THOUGHTS A day…

  • What is That? Who is That?

    in

    An old Jewish man was finally allowed to leave the Soviet Union, to emigrate to Israel. When he was searched at the Moscow airport, the customs official found a bust of Lenin. Customs: What is that? Old man: What is that? What is that?! Don’t say “What is that?” say “Who is that?” That is…