5W1H boo!

Jokes

  • T-shirt Slogans

    in

    Save the trees – wipe your arse with an owl. “My point-and-click interface is an Uzi submachine gun.” Saint Michael – patron saint of underpants I’m an apathetic sociopath – I’d kill you if I cared. I’m completely sane, according to the voices in my head. My wife’s an earth sign. I’m a water sign.…

  • A Good Marriage

    in

    A good marriage would be between a blind woman, and a deaf man.

  • Hair Restorer

    in

    I have the typical observant wife. One evening after dinner, she handed me a bottle of that Rogaine hair restorer. I told her while I was indeed starting to thin out some, I didn’t really think I needed hair restorer yet. She said, “Oh. It’s not for you, it’s for your secretary, she seems to…

  • Slogan Success

    in

    The head of a small industrial company posted a slogan all around the office and plant saying, “Do it now!” with the hope of getting better results from his workers. Some weeks later, when asked why he was removing the slogan signs, he said, “It worked too well. The bookkeeper skipped with $20,000, the chief…

  • Diet Nightmare

    in

    A dietician was once addressing a large audience in Chicago. “The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. “Red meat is awful. Soft drinks erode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. Vegetables can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the…

  • 50th Anniversary

    in

    While enjoying an early morning breakfast in a northern Arizona cafe, four elderly ranchers were discussing everything from cattle, horses, and weather to how things used to be in the “good old days.” Eventually the conversation moved on to their spouses. One gentleman turned to the fellow on his right and asked, “Roy, aren’t you…

  • The Service

    in

    One Sunday morning, the priest noticed Little Johnny was staring up at the large plaque that hung in the foyer of the church. It was covered with names, and small American flags were mounted on either side of it. The seven-year old had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the priest walked…

  • Dam Problems Happen

    in

    This is an actual letter sent to a man named Ryan DeVries by the Pennsylvania Department of Environmental Quality, State of Pennsylvania. This guy’s response is hilarious, but read the State’s letter before you get to the response letter. SUBJECT: DEQ File No.97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec. 20; Lycoming County Dear Mr. DeVries: It has come…

  • A Blonde’s IQ

    in

    I was watching Beauty and the Geek the other day, and felt like submitting this joke (as it’s somewhat similar to something that happened in the show). A blonde is in school, and her teacher is having a random discussion about IQs. Teacher: “So what would you say your IQ is?” she asks a student…

  • Same Old, Same Old

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    Children today are tyrants. They contradict their parents, gobble their food, and tyrannize their teachers. – Socrates (470 – 399 BC)

  • The Computer Cookie

    in

    Once upon a time in a land where everyone updates there Facebook status every 5 seconds, there was a young girl named Isabel. When Isabel was reading her cereal box, she thought “Oh.Maybe I should check my Facebook.” So Isabel walked over to her Mac and sat down. She typed in Facebook.com and clicked enter.…

  • Japenese Girl

    in

    A Japanese girl accidentally lets out a disturbing fart after making love! She said: “Aww, so sorry. Excuse please, front hole so happy, back hole laugh out loud!!