Jokes

  • Radio

    Knock Knock! Who’s There? Radio. Radio Who? Radio not, here I come!

  • Some Mergers

    Honeywell & Imasco & Home Oil = Honey, I’m Home. Denison Mines & Alliance & Metal Mining = Mine, All Mine. 3M & JC Penney & Canadian Opera Company = 3 Penney Opera. Crabtree & Evelyn and Apple Computer = Crab Apple. Swissair & Cheseborough-Ponds = Swisscheese. John Deere & Abitibi-Price = Deere Abi. And…

  • Dentist Filling

    A girl went to a dentist to have her teeth filled. The dentist asked, “What kind of fillings do you want? White or silver?” The girl replied, “Chocolate fillings.”

  • What is the square

    What is the square root of 69? Ate something (8….)

  • Gimma a Beer

    A girl walks into a bar and sits down with her friend. She is feeling down, so she talks to her friend. Her friend says “Go get a beer.” She says she didn’t want one. Then the friend says “Hey, who said it was for you?” copyright fox corp.

  • Depressed Man

    There was once a very depressed man that went to see the psychiatrist. He was advised to go on a holiday to unwind and relax his mental and emotional burdens. Upon his return from the holiday, the man’s assistant went to the airport to welcome him back. Man: “How’s everything here?” Assistant: “Well, nothing much,…

  • Televisions the Lazy Way

    How come people are willing to get up off their butts to search the whole room for the remote, because they refuse to get up and change channels manually?

  • Identi-kit

    Pablo Picasso surprised a burglar at work in his new chateau. The intruder got away, but Picasso told the police he could do a rough sketch of what he looked like. On the basis of his drawing, the police arrested a mother superior, the minister of finance, a washing machine, and the Eiffel tower.

  • Bosses v. Workers

    When I take a long time, I am slow. When my boss takes a long time, he is thorough. When I don’t do it, I am lazy. When my boss doesn’t do it, he’s too busy. When I do it without being told, I’m trying to be smart. When my boss does the same, that…

  • Even MORE of the Questions That Have Confused Me

    If Wile Coyote had enough money for all that Acme crap, why didn’t he just buy dinner? If there’s an exception to every rule, is there an exception to that rule? Why do we leave expensive cars in the driveway, when we keep worthless junk in the garage? Why do they call it taking a…

  • Nothing Doing

    Louis was talking to his friend Pete. “There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for my Becky,” he said, “and there’s nothing Becky wouldn’t do for me, and that’s how we go through life – doing nothing for each other.”

  • What Do You Call A Man…

    What do you call a man who put the toilet seat down after use? Don’t know it’s never happened.