Jokes

  • Wacky Warnings – True Article

    The Wacky Warning Label Contest, now in its 11th year, is conducted by Novi-based Michigan Lawsuit Abuse Watch as part of an effort to show the effects of lawsuits on warning labels. Kevin Soave of Farmington Hills, a Detroit suburb, won the $500 grand prize for submitting the winning label. The $250 second place was…

  • Grand Canyon

    Yo momma is so fat that she fell over and made the Grand Canyon!

  • Smile

    I had been seeing David for a couple of months; he and I both had children from previous marriages. My daughter Amanda has a slight learning disability and is very outspoken. She just tells it like it is and if you don’t like it … oh well. We were all at David’s house, sitting on…

  • Black, White and Red

    What’s black and white and red all over? A newspaper.

  • What Do You Call…..

    Q: What do you call a handcuffed man? A: Trustworthy

  • Just Think…

    Just think, if it weren’t for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.

  • What To Do On A Paper You Don’t Care About!

    45 Fun Things to Do on a Paper You Don’t Care About 1. Type every word in a different font. Alternate really big fonts with really small fonts. 2. Support your thesis with quotes from your VCR manual. 3. Write the entire paper on Post-it notes and turn it in by sticking them all over…

  • Men Suck

    What do you do if you find your old man staggering around the backyard? Shoot him again!!!

  • Poor Dog

    Why did the poor dog chase his tail? He was trying to make ends meet!

  • Venice

    If it weren’t for Venetian blinds, it would be curtains for everyjoke.

  • Appendicitis

    A blonde was having sharp pains in her side. The doctor examined her and said, “You have acute appendicitis.” The blonde yelled at the doctor, “I came here to get medical help, not get a stupid compliment!”

  • No I in Team!

    Ben never saw action on his high school football team. One day, the assistant coach gave him a pep talk. “Remember, Ben,” he told him, “everyone on this team has an important role. There is no ‘I’ in ‘team’.” “True,” said the boy. “But there is a ‘Ben’ in ‘bench’.”